Mary Ellen Cates, Attorney at Law & State Certified Mediator
Physical Address: 120 N. Avondale Rd., A-2, Avondale Estates, Georgia 30002Attorney Experience: Practicing as a sole practitioner and trial attorney, exclusively in domestic relations law for 25 years. Cases handled in Fulton, DeKalb, Gwinnett and Rockdale Counties. Mediation Experience: Private mediations available and mediations through DeKalb Dispute Resolution Center. At the Center, there is up to 6 l/2 hours for domestic mediations which is paid by the County (provided you have a case pending in DeKalb County). Legal services offered:
A: Legally, yes. What you need to ask yourself is why are you changing? Are your expectations unrealistic? If you have a specific problem with your attorney, you should talk to him or her about it. It can be expensive to change attorneys. Any new attorney has to get up to speed on everything that the old attorney already knows. Plus, if you have already attended hearings and didn't have them reported by a court reporter, the new attorney will be at a disadvantage because they don't know what was presented in court. I would be happy to talk to you, however, if you are dissatisfied for whatever reason. Q. What are some of the reasons you have been consulted for hire, after another attorney has been discharged? A. It's a business. Things like failure to return phone calls, inability to get in touch with their attorney, or their attorney failing to send them copies of documents. Mainly, however, it's because hearings didn't go as the parties thought they should. Also top of the list is the felt their attorney didn't prepare them on what to expect. Real Life World of Conflict: I was hired by a husband whose prior attorney didn't show up for a court hearing and did not tell the husband about the hearing. This, obviously, was good cause for termination of the services; however, you don't need a reason. You can fire an attorney at any time even without good cause if you are not satisfied with their services. Q. How hard is it to keep a case moving towards a conclusion? Life is financially devastating during a divorce. I would want my case over with ASAP. Why do things move so SLOW? A. I agree completely. The court is no path to the fast lane. There are many, many factors that control the speed of your case. Q. Such as? A. This will have to be a multi-part answer. 1. Opposing counsel's caseload and schedule. I have had opposing counsels who don't return my phone calls, don't respond to my letters or e-mails and that I have to play telephone tag every time I try and reach them. Sometimes my clients want to report the opposing attorney to the judge for this, but that's just the way some attorneys practice law. Also, the opposing attorney owes no duty to my client. It's their approach of catch me if you can. Obviously, this can make getting the answer to a simple question take a couple of weeks. Real Life World of Conflict: There are some attorneys I do not like to have on the opposing side. They have so many cases that they always have a legal conflict on the day of the court hearing, which means they don't show up. This puts the case off until the NEXT calendar which can be many months. One opposing counsel in the same divorce case failed to come to two hearings and at the final hearing ended up sending another attorney from their office. Obviously, any prior communication was impossible. 2. Judges and their calendars. Currently 65% of all civil cases filed in the Superior Courts of Georgia are family law cases. They outnumber felony and misdemeanor criminal cases combined. Superior Court judges don't just hear civil cases. They also hear criminal cases. So, depending on how many other cases are before you, sometimes it's a wait your turn situation. Real Life World of Conflict: You can get your case resolved faster if you can get an agreement. That's why I always request mediation to see if this is possible. Uncontested calendars are a lot faster and more numerous than contested calendars. 3. Amount of money/assets involved. If you are the breadwinner and your spouse has little funds, but you have LOTS of funds, your spouse's attorney will spend quite a lot of time determining exactly what you do have before they are willing to go into any settlement negotiations. They want to make sure they know everything there is to know about your assets, before they make any recommendations to their client about what is a "fair" distribution. Real Life World of Conflict: I mediated a case and both the parties wanted to settle, but neither of their attorneys did. Both parties had substantial assets. The attorney representing the Wife insisted that they needed more time for discovery of "hidden" assets. 4. Your spouse. Often times, spouses themselves create obstacles. They may not want it over with too quickly, so they refuse to cooperate. They may want more than you want to give, so they wait you out, and wait and wait. Or, they want to punish you and if it's over, their ability to punish disappears. Real Life World of Conflicts: My client's spouse refused to talk at the mediation. Every settlement proposal we sent to her attorney had been ignored. When my client finally asked her what she wanted, her only response was: "Whatever the judge tells me I am entitled to." This couple had little assets but a long divorce. 5. Complexity of the case. If your case requires additional experts - as in certified financial planners, appraisals, psychologist, guardian ad litems (for the kids). Those are just additional schedules that have to be accommodated which add to the length and expense of the resolution. Real Life World of Conflicts: I represented a woman in a divorce who had children during the marriage but none were by her husband. All biological fathers filed for custody, I filed for custody and the husband filed for custody. Just the nature of the complexity made this a long case with many witnesses and issues of law. Q: I went to a hearing and my attorney didn't appear to be very prepared. They didn't know basic data-- like how old my kids were and what my income was. They didn't spend any time with me before the hearing. I was most disappointed. A. It's terrifying to be in court for the first - or second time - and not know what to expect. My practice with my own clients is to go over the questions that I am going to ask them in advance. This way you know 50% of what they are going to be asked in Court. I want to make sure they aren't confused about what I am actually asking and that our figures and facts are accurate. In the heat of the courtroom, you don't always have the time or presence of mind to "think". Q. Why do you say I would know only 50% of what I am going to be asked in Court? A. Because I can only speculate about what the opposing attorney is going to ask you. That's the other 50%. I usually have a good idea but I don't know the specific questions like I do for my 50% portion of your case. Q. Is that a lot of work? A. Yes, but you don't always have another chance to get it right. The outcome of any trial may affect you for years. Make the best presentation possible, and you won't regret it. You are more relaxed and in control of your thoughts and behavior when you have been informed of what you are expected to testify to. The effort often creates the result. Real Life World of Conflicts: I have won cases before because I was prepared and the other attorney wasn't. There are required documents - like basic financial affidavits for hearings. I have had cases where the other attorney showed up without one, and had little choice but to settle because he didn't want to be embarrassed before his client or the Judge. Obviously, in those situations, I am in control of the outcome. Q: If I attend a hearing without an attorney and aren't happy with the results, what can I do? A: If you didn't have an attorney represent you in court, you should talk with an attorney who has practiced in that jurisdiction before that judge many times. Ask the attorney to speculate as to why the judge might have decided as he did. Remember, however, this is only speculation. One of the reasons you hire an attorney is for knowledge of how to handle situations in court. The bad news is that if you just had a protracted hearing, you might be stuck with the result until the next hearing, attorney or not. There are temporary hearings, motions hearing, temporary protective hearings, and final hearings. Unfortunately, you don't get to do it over just because you didn't like the result. Sometimes there isn't much you can do. Also, if you didn't pay to have the case reported by a court reporter, you are at a further disadvantage because there is no official record to review. There are also time restrictions that control when action should be taken. Real Life World of Conflicts: I mediated a case where the husband was still upset, some two years later, about the outcome of his Temporary Protective hearing filed by his wife against him. He did not understand that since he had entered into a consent agreement at the hearing, there was nothing he could do to change it. He thought he could renegotiate everything because he didn't like it and it was not "fair". The two years seemed like yesterday to him. Real Life World of Conflicts: I cannot tell you how many clients call me AFTER their hearing. Obviously, it didn't go their way. Many allege that the judge didn't even listen to their side of the conflict. Usually, when the other side has an attorney, the judge is going to listen to that side. Q: If my spouse and I are willing to end our marriage amicably, can we do it with a mediator? A: You can have the terms of your divorce negotiated with a mediator. Then you can either represent yourself in filing and finalizing the divorce if you know how, or hire an attorney to do it. A mediator, even if they are an attorney, cannot act as an attorney and a mediator in the same case. An attorney needs to be hired to finalize the case if you don't do it yourself. You may, or may not be able to conclude the documents and presentation yourself. Q: If my spouse and I agree to everything in mediation, will it save us money in hiring the attorney? A: Obviously if an attorney does not have to go to court and argue your case to the judge and obtain a ruling on the issues in the case, it will save time, which in attorney talk equates to money. Don't underestimate the value of an attorney. I always tell clients to consider what they have to lose. Sometimes the best money you will ever spend is that spent for an attorney to review it and make sure you have considered the possibilities or complications. - It's your future. Q: Can you explain how attorneys charge? A: I can tell you how I charge. It's according to time. It's whether I believe I can accomplish it within a short time and the fee is based on a flat amount, or whether I have no idea of the time, and you are charged by the hour. It takes time to do everything. Time to return phone calls, time to draft documents and letters, time to go to court and file documents, time to attend mediations, time to redraft documents, time to answer e-mails, time to meet with clients, time to answer discovery, time to chase down court staff personnel to set hearing. Nowadays, the quickest way to set hearings is to physically go to the courthouse and chase down the calendar clerk. This may necessitate waiting for hours in order to talk to them. Otherwise, you run the problem of mailing it in and no one ever claims to have received it, and definitely they didn't set a hearing because they never got it. Real Life World of Conflicts: I mailed in a complaint for filing to the clerk, along with a check for filing and a check for the sheriff. The complaint was filed, but I never received any proof of service on the party from the sheriff, even though my check was cashed. What I thought would save time ended up costing more time to go down and straight it out, because you can pretty much forget phone calls. The best way to be assured that clerks receive documents is to hand carry them, and get a copy stamped by the court in case you have to prove they were filed. Some counties are famous for misplacing documents. Real Life World of Conflict: I took over a case when another attorney was fired. The case should have been assigned to a judge who handled a matter previously between the two parties. The attorney either didn't know this, or didn't care. When I was retained, I hand-carried my motion for transfer to both calendar clerks who worked for the prior judge and the new judge, and waited around to talk to both; explained the situation to both and they transferred the case within a week. Q: Can we mediate our agreement but reserve our right to have an attorney review it? A: Yes. You can actually put that in the agreement as part of the understanding of the parties. This is not unusual. Parties without attorneys want the opportunity to have an attorney of their choice review any agreement prior to making it final. Q: The concept of mediation still sounds a little strange to us. A: You can call any mediator and they should be willing to talk with you further about the process. Don't expect them to listen to all the allegations in your case; however, as they are neutrals. That means they don't take sides and they don't need to hear your side of the case outside the mediation setting. You can certainly call me, although someone who mediates in the local jurisdiction where your case will be filed is the best source of information. Don't ask them for an opinion, just ask them to explain the process of how the mediation works. Save your allegations for when you get to the mediation itself. The last thing you want is to tell your spouse that you talked at length to the mediator. They will immediately assume that you have "trashed" them and the mediator is no longer impartial. Q: I have heard that if the parties can agree and there is nothing for the judge to decide that you can obtain the final judgment and decree of divorce without actually going to court. Is this correct? A: Yes provided the paperwork is correct. There are still judges, however, who insist on the parties attending court for the final. In the jurisdiction where I practice, when you file a case, you never know which judge will be assigned the case. Once it's filed, you have a better idea of whether or not you have to attend court for the final. There are several judges who make the parties appear and some that make both parties appear. Judges are usually willing to work with individuals who have special circumstances, as in military personnel who can't come to court. I have been granted permission to obtain the final by a procedure known as motion for judgment on the pleadings. Q: Can we exchange information and agreements with you via e-mail to minimize having to come into your office? A: Yes. I have handled entire cases through e-mail and regular mail, and only met the parties when we went to the courthouse. This was to accommodate client's heavy travel demands. Obviously, these cases were straightforward with no disagreements. Q: What things do you consider prior to accepting a contested divorce case? A: The reasonableness of the client, and whether there is credible evidence to support the client's position. It is important not to misrepresent anything to my clients. While I will always put forth the best possible presentation, it is imperative that the client recognize their weaknesses. Also, spouses who are extremely hostile put additional stress on an already stressful situation, which makes the case more difficult and more time consuming (and more costly). Q: What is the best advice you can give to divorcing couples who are fighting over their children? A: Don't do it. Work something out. The way you adjust to the divorce and the way you handle the divorce affects how your children will adjust. Find a way to cooperate as parents living apart. You should think first as parents, not as a husband or wife. Even if you don't think it will do any good, attend mediation. Talk with your attorney and try to determine what emotional stage you and your spouse are at and if there can be any acceptance for the good of your children. Focus on your children. Get psychologists or therapist involved. Do whatever it takes. Real Life World of Conflict: I have had custody cases that were so nasty and both parties convinced the Judge that their spouse was such a poor parent, that the Judge transferred the case to juvenile court. The juvenile Court judge ultimately awarded custody to an Aunt. This was two years ago, and it is my understanding that the Aunt still has custody. Who won here? Q: What is the best advice you can give to divorcing parties? A: Know what you can control and what you can't. Don't expect your spouse's personality to improve during a divorce. Don't expect him or her to be any different than they have always been. People don't change for the better in a divorce. Emotions are raw. Don't always try and push your spouse's buttons. Anger gets you nothing but revenge and more time in the divorce court. Q: What single characteristic of a client alerts you as an attorney that you do not think you can work with this individual? A: The one who is consumed by anger and hatred. These individuals want their spouse to pay every day in every way, no matter how small the indiscretion. They are stuck in their past and have no desire to move forward into their future. It's only a matter of time before they decide they don't like you much either, and that everything you did was wrong. They never believe that their behavior contributed to the result. They are looking to blame someone and it's whoever is left standing. Q: If I am going to represent myself, can you review my documents and give me your advice on what I am doing and/or should do? A: Yes. We can work out the charges on an hourly rate. You do need to realize, however, a lot of what happens in court is the way the information is presented. Just having your documents and facts correct does not always mean you are going to be able to present your case properly, or that you can successfully withstand an attack from an experienced opposing attorney. Does the concept of "think fast on your feet" come to mind? It should. Q: What advice would you give someone going to court without an attorney? A: Never underestimate the life changing ability a judge has. Never underestimate the power of an experienced opposing attorney. First and last, ask yourself what you stand to lose, because that will probably be the result. Real Life World of Conflicts: I consulted with a party who had not paid child support in a timely manner. His arrears were considerable. I explained in great detail that there was a strong possibility that he would go to jail, and that he needed to come up with the arrears. It made no sense to him that a judge would put him in jail because as he saw it, then he couldn't pay child support. Obviously, he believed he couldn't pay for an attorney either. The judge, however, didn't agree with him and he was incarcerated until he "purged" (paid the amounts due) on the past due child support. It would have been cheaper to have taken my advice before rather than after going to jail. Q: Do you answer e-mail inquiries? What basic information is helpful to you? A: Yes, I answer e-mails but if I don't, please call me at 404-292-3803. Never hesitate to call me. If it's inconvenient, I'll tell you but I prefer phone calls to e-mails because I can find out if I can help you faster. Also, sometimes e-mails are lost in cyberspace. The basic information I need to know is the county where the case is to be filed or is pending and what has been done already. I don't practice in all counties because of distance, traffic, and unfamiliarity with the judges. Also, if there is too much water under the bridge before I become involved, it makes it more difficult for me to direct the course of the litigation towards a satisfactory conclusion. Be sure to keep copies of everything because the judge may only recall what's in the documents. -But, it all starts with a simple call. Q: Do you give an initial free consultation? A: Yes, if it's the type of case that I handle in the jurisdictions where I practice. Usually, we can talk on the telephone and establish if your case is something that I can help you with. If you need to come into the office, that also can be arranged. I do not charge for an initial consultation; however, if you wish for me to review documents and give my opinion, I would quote a price for that. Also, remember that I am only licensed to practice in Georgia. So if it's an out-of- state case, I am not going to be able to assist you, and I cannot offer an opinion. Q: Do you like clients who are involved in their divorce process? A: Absolutely. I can never know as much about your case as you do. I supply the law and you supply the facts to me to present to the court. You also help formulate the angle of the presentation of the evidence--that would be "spin" to some people. Q: What substantive issues do you think are important for parties to recognize early on in their divorce? A: The financial realities during and after a divorce. One of the most powerful positions is to "think financially." When it's over, it's over. The difference is what you ended up with. Also, never underestimate the permanent damage that animosity can cause. It may never go away and parties never forget "cruel" acts. There certainly may be no forgiveness. Real Life World of Conflicts: I mediated a case where the husband was demanding that the marital residence be sold, even though there was no equity. The couple had two children who had lived in the house for some eight years, attended school in the area and had friends in the area. I wanted to make sure he realized that for the rest of those children's lives, the mother would make sure they knew that their father was the reason that they lost their home. Q: What do you want potential clients to know about you? A: Prior to my engagement as your attorney, I would like to make sure we can work together and that the objectives you seek are reasonable. I do not take all cases, as I have downsized my practice. I do, however, give personal attention to my clients. I return phone calls within a reasonable period of time, and, subject to the restraints of opposing counsel and courts, I try to get your case over with as quickly as possible. The longer it drags on, the worse the conditions usually become. When my representation is concluded, I would like for you to recommend me to your friends as someone who did a good job and didn't waste time or resources unnecessarily. I am very realistic. Prior to becoming an attorney, I was a court reporter and I could easily pick which side would win based on their demeanor in Court. Reality and practicality are important concepts in any understanding of the process. Courts follow the reasonable man and rules "where a reasonable man considering the evidence would make the same determination". Q: Are you registered as a mediator with any court programs? A: I am a mediator with the DeKalb Dispute Resolution Center in Decatur, Georgia. Q: So, what does that mean? If I have a case filed in DeKalb even if I have an attorney, can I request you to do my mediation? A: Yes if the opposing side does not object. Just tell your attorney to call the Center and request that I handle any scheduled mediation. In DeKalb, If you have a pending suit in the Superior Court of DeKalb County, you have up to 6 l/2 hours of free mediation paid by the county. Your attorney will know about this. Q. If I can't figure out how to contact the appropriate individuals to arrange this, can I call or e-mail you? A: I would be happy to help, but remember I can't discuss the details of your case. I can only give you information on how to contact the Center and general information about the mediation process. Q: Are you registered with any other court agencies? A: Only DeKalb County, but as part of that same affiliation with the DeKalb Dispute Resolution Center, I am a mediator assigned to various judges on different days, along with other mediators. I am present in Court on random days with various Superior Court Judges to handle mediations (if the parties so elect) before they litigate their cases before the Judge. Q: How does that work? A: If you have a case that comes up on a calendar and you have not resolved all the issues in your case, the Judge who calls the case will ask you if you wish to have a mediator try and resolve your case in Court. If you say yes and I am assigned to that judge for that day, I may be your mediator. This is a long shot, however. Q: If I am going to court in DeKalb County for a domestic hearing in the Superior Court, can I request you as a mediator? A: That probably can't be arranged. You might have more success if you request me for a mediation at the Center which would be arranged in advance. The judge has no control over which individual mediator is present in his court on a particular day. Q: If I am set for a hearing and have not attended mediation, can my case be removed from the hearing calendar and sent to mediation instead? Then, if I am understanding this correctly, I can request you? A: The better practice may be to request a continuance prior to going to Court for the purpose of transferring the case to mediation. If you don't have an attorney, however, that might be difficult to achieve. If you have an attorney and they request the judge to enter an Order for mediation, there is a better chance they will be more successful at getting the Order. Your attorney may request that I mediate your case if the opposing side does not object. Q: Do you also get involved in protracted, down and out custody disputes? A: Unfortunately, yes. Q: How long does a typical custody "fight" usually take? A: One to two years is not an unreasonable timeframe. Q: Is there any way to find out if my spouse is not providing for the needs of my children? A: Yes. Sometimes private investigators can help. Real Life World of Conflict: I had a change of custody case wherein a private investigator found out that my client's child was not enrolled in a legal daycare; was exposed to older siblings smoking marijuana outside their house; and all the utilities in the home were cut off. They took a great picture as night was approaching that showed only the television glowing in the window. There was an extension cord runnning to the neighbor's house. They observed heavy foot traffic and automobile traffic, usually at nights and on weekends, coming and going into the home for short periods. What do you think this was? Real Life World of Conflict: Private investigators observed my client's eight year old minor child, coming home from school and staying by himself. He was totally unsupervised from 4:00 p.m. until mother returned at 8:30 p.m. from her job. He was playing outside on a busy street and going into the street to pick up his ball. Q: Ever had a case that didn't go as you had hoped it would? A: Oh, yes. I represented a party that the judge either simply didn't like or didn't believe and we didn't get what we asked for. There are many influences in play. Courtrooms are live dramas and are subject to all the interplays of emotion and veracity. This is expanded on in Divorce Truths, listed below. Sometimes people can't accept that the other side has ANY reason to be awarded ANYTHING, and their bitterness works against them. Like in everything else, if you are asked to make a decision, sometimes there are psychological factors at play that influence your decision. Judges are also subject to these same influences. Q: In Divorce Truths, you have suggested it is a good idea to actually attend someone else's hearing that is held before the judge that is going to hear your case. A: Yes. By going to Court and observing a hearing, you get a feel for what you can expect. Also, it takes the sting out of the unknown. This lessens the stress and puts you more in control of the process. Q: You state that 84,000 men each year are falsely accused of paternity? A: That's correct. 28% of DNA test nationally prove that the man charged is not the father. Q: So, that means if I am not married or had an exclusive relationship, there's a possibility I might not be the father? A: That's could be true. You should talk to an attorney about the actual facts and circumstances concerning your relationship and the birth of your child. Real Life World of Conflicts: I have handled divorce cases where even the married fathers were not the biological fathers. One client had three kids during a marriage and none were by her husband. This was a most unusual situation and I am not advocating that all married couples get paternity tests. Real Life World of Conflicts: I mediated a case where the parties were ending a l8 year marriage. In the mediation it came out the cause of the divorce was the fact that the Husband just found out, some l8 years later, that their son was not his child. Q: Are all court mediators licensed attorneys? A: No. Q: Are all mediators licensed attorneys? A: No. Q: If I get a mediator who isn't an attorney, should I be concerned about whether I am protected? A: Mediators aren't there to protect you. They are there to help you and your spouse resolve your issues. You need an attorney to review all mediation agreements, even if the mediator is an attorney because no attorney can function as both a mediator and an attorney in the same case. It's not a waste of money. It's a small price to pay to make sure that there are not future problems. I cannot stress this enough. Q: Briefly, what are some areas I could have problems with in the future? A: Including but not limited to: Real property. Sale of a house. What if you don't put in a provision if the house cannot be refinanced out of your name that it will be sold? You are stuck on a mortgage and don't even live in the house. Worse yet, what if your spouse doesn't pay the mortgage? Guess who they will come after? What happens if the house is to be sold and there is a deficit amount on the loan from an insufficient sales price? Retirement. One of the most distressing cases I observed recently was a distribution of retirement that was part of a prior mediated agreement but the date of distribution wasn't clear. That's a pretty important aspect for distribution purposes. With the crash of the stock market, the current value was a lot less than at the time of the mediation, but which date should control wasn't clear. This was a considerable amount of money into the upper six figures lost to one of the parties. Credit cards. Provisions needs to be clear about who pays what and what happens if they don't, especially for accounts in joint names. Medical coverage after divorce. If you are the dependent spouse, will you have coverage? Can you afford COBRA? What other alternatives are there? Value of real property. Did you get a current appraisal? You would be surprised at what property values are now. Spend a few hundred dollars to know rather than pay thousands to a spouse based on speculation of the amount of equity. You don't want to offer to settle for half of an old appraisal and certainly not tax value as a property settlement when the actual value is considerably less. Custody/visitation - the list is endless. -You won't necessarily know it's a problem until it is; and then it may be too late. But your attorney will anticipate the problems. - Think of attorneys as preventive maintenance. Q: Again, if I have other questions or need clarification, can I call? A: Yes. If I don't answer immediately, leave a clear number and name and I will return the call as soon as I can. When I am in Court, they prohibit any cell phones to be left on, but I do check my phone on a regular basis when in Court. -A phone call can tell us if you have a case I can assist you with, and if you should make an appointment and come in for a free consultation. You have nothing to lose and you might gain some insight into solving your problem before it overwhelms you or alters your life. |
