Even when divorce ends a marriage gone terribly wrong, a divorce does not make people happy. Happiness, such as it is, is something that happens after the bad marriage ends, if at all, not because the bad marriage ends.
Divorce recovery usually means the long, lonely and difficult slog to the point where life seems and feels normal. Ideally, former spouses can, if need be, talk with one another civilly. Sometimes this is impossible for those who become bitter and twisted and fearful of another intimate human relationship.
Sadly, during divorce recovery, second and subsequent marriages often crash in the wake of failed first marriages.A person going through a divorce should consider his or her part in the breakdown of the marriage. Honest soul searching and a cold eye on the failed marriage reveal the truth: that unless addiction or abuse is involved, both spouses are typically responsible. A person who understands his or her contribution to the failure of the marriage also understands that he or she is not perfect, and like everyone else, is a flawed human being who makes mistakes.
For some people, divorce recovery can be very difficult. One psychologist talks about what is called “spouse blindness,” which happens when one spouse wants to remain in a difficult marriage even after the relationship has become untenable. The “blind” spouse often drags out the divorce out in hope of a change of heart, but he or she is miles from recovery.
No one forgets about a failed marriage, but people do recover from the divorce – at different speeds and in different ways. People going through a divorce commonly experience plummeting self-esteem, but divorce does not mean that a person is a failure in life. Almost everybody has a loving relationship go south; about half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. The relief map of human relationships is very textured and convoluted, and the terrain has many peaks and valleys.