Mediation is not marriage counseling. The mediator is there not to autopsy the failed marriage, nor to try to resuscitate a lifeless one.
Care must be taken in hiring a mediator because in some jurisdictions, mediators and mediation are unregulated and without standards. In hiring a mediator, the spouses should investigate the mediator’s background, education and training, experience in divorce cases, fees and charges, membership in professional associations, and certification, if available.
Like collaborative divorce, mediation should not be used if the other spouse is physically, emotionally, sexually or verbally abusive, and cannot be trusted to act in good faith.
Even when mediation fails to achieve a consensus about all of the terms and conditions of a divorce, good mediation can reduce the scope of any court dispute.