There are so many ’firsts’ after a separation. Seeing your spouse the first time after a long separation is one. Another is meeting the new girl/boy friend. Another is being alone in the house, sleeping alone, having holidays alone, going to visit relatives/friends alone, eating out alone, paying bills on your own, and taking your first vacation alone.

During trying times, it is especially important to know your spending habits and take charge of your life. Use this period of your life as a time to learn more about yourself, and to make the necessary changes you’ve been putting off. Divorce and loss of a job can be gifts, only you can move it from the category of tragedy to a gift, a present.

I realized that the negative language, the verbal abuse, was destroying me. In fact, when he didn’t beat up on me verbally, I took the reigns and did it myself!

At this stage in life, you most likely have been a part of failed relationships that wounded your heart, strengthened your soul, and provided unmatched learning experiences. You have created and enjoyed success in many areas including career, family, community and friendships.

Creating images from the past, I visualize a mysterious forest. My feet are trapped in the bottomless mud of the earth. I am miniature, unaccompanied and weak as I attempt to study my surroundings. However, there are obstacles in my way. Do you feel hopeless and alone?