At this stage in life, you most likely have been a part of failed relationships that wounded your heart, strengthened your soul, and provided unmatched learning experiences. You have created and enjoyed success in many areas including career, family, community and friendships. You are a beautiful, strong and insightful woman and are comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses. You are at ease in your own skin and you like yourself. You have happiness, peace and love in your life and want to share your gifts with a deserving man.

Each of you is looking for diverse qualities in a man. You have different priorities depending on your own experiences, values and desires. Although men are differing, there are a number of consistent traits among emotionally healthy individuals.

1. He is confident: He is secure, proud but not arrogant. He has high self-esteem. He follows his inner voice and his passions. You can feel his passion when you are in the room with him or hear him speak on topic that is important to him. He affirms equality of self and others.

2. He is authentic: He expresses his true-self with others. He is not a sycophant or chameleon who changes his behaviors and words to win approval. He has his own style, presentation, and mannerisms that are consistent across the areas of his life. He may have unique style of dressing, unusual views of the world or support a unique cause or ideal. His has inner authenticity in which he carries into each relationship of his life.

3. He has the ability to laugh at himself: He enjoys smiling with the people in his life. He laughs at his own foibles. He finds ways to make life a success, laughs at himself and always remains humble. When he slips up, personally or professionally, he acknowledges his mistake, makes apologies when necessary and learns from his blunder. He lets the situation go, moves on and does not repeat the same mistake twice.

4. He offers the gift to love: He expresses love to his children, family and friends. He speaks highly of his family and those in his life. He is kind to people, animals and the earth. He treats people with respect. He does not participate in gossip or insulting comments. He is comfortable giving hugs to men and women he cares for including friends and business acquaintances.

5. He continually seeks growth: He has a past, including unsuccessful relationships from previous stages of his journey. His growth is continuous. He is committed to learning from his past experiences and discovering where he can improve in future relationships. In addition, he does the hard work and looks deep within to understand and accept where he failed/fails and commits to making the changes necessary to do things better.

He may be extraordinary today as he is. However, he wants more out of life and himself. He investigates and creates experiences that allow him to grow. He understands his own strengths and weaknesses. He admits the things in life that he knows about as well as the things he knows nothing about. He loves to learn and try new things; he encourages growth in himself and others.

6. He embraces change: He is comfortable with change and takes healthy risks in order to grow. He understands change is a part of reaching his personal and professional potential. He knows how to let go of the past. He accepts endings. He understands that taking is risks are imperative for growth, and growth is necessary to be happy. He creates change to create more meaning in his life.

7. He is honest: He is comfortable bringing up difficult subjects because he understands this aligns with his authenticity. He believes being outside of his comfort zone promotes personal growth. He is honest with himself and others even when it is painful to do so. He communicates in person and avoids emails and texts for important dialogue. He says what is on his mind even when his thoughts conflict with the thoughts of others. He has the courage to ask for what he wants. He follows through on promises: He makes promises he can keep, and his actions follow his words. There are no excuses because the follow through is consistently delivered.

8. He is constant: He stays calm and collected in heated moments. He expresses anger with dignity and without explosions. He is emotionally supportive. He does not over-nurture and then pull back later; rather he is consistent and available. He celebrates his own success and the success of those around him. He brings out the finest in himself others.

9. He expresses intimacy: He is open to being vulnerable with the one he loves. He is comfortable discussing wants and needs and encourages verbal and non-verbal communication. He does not smother his loved ones. He expresses his desires and commitment to the one he loves. He strengthens his love connection through intimacy. He knows who he is as an individual and as an equal partner in your relationship. He is not fear-based in his commitment to you. He accepts and expresses his true dedication to you and let's those around him know of his commitment to you as well.

10. He is generous: He gives impeccably of himself. He provides through various love languages and he discovers ways to make you feel loved. He makes himself available to you physically, emotionally and intellectually. He wants to make sure you feel safe. You know you can count on him and he will be there when you need him.

11.He adores you. Actions speak louder than words. You can feel his affirmative energy for you and know this healthy man adores you. He lets you know you are important. He introduces you to his family and friends. When he introduces you, he gives you a title, for example, "I want you to meet Cathy, my girlfriend," He wants to talk to you and see you, and even with his busy schedule he makes a point to do so. He wishes to learn about you. This emotionally healthy man remembers what you tell him and he asks about meetings, appointments and events you previously spoke of. He respects you and does not attempt to take you away from your priorities outside of the relationship. He wants to help you as an equal.

Perhaps no one is perfect; however, there is an ideal man for you. My daughter explains, "If you do not like his voice then don't go out with him because his voice will not change and it will always bother you." She is right. The behaviors and mannerisms that annoy you at the beginning of a relationship will later develop into massive annoyances. Furthermore, if you sense "red flags" before you even go on a date, follow your instincts and do not progress any further. Remember previous relationships and how your instincts have a way of being correct. Don't fritter away time with men that will not follow through. Don't waste time with men that do not absolutely adore you. Trust your gut. Follow your inner voice this time and get what you want.