California Info

California Divorce Start Your Divorce Find Professionals California Articles Divorce Facts Divorce Grounds Residency Divorce Laws Mediation/Counseling Divorce Process Legal Separation Annulments Property Division Alimony Child Custody Child Support Divorce Forms Process Service Grandparent Rights Forum California Products Divorce by County

California Articles

Agreements Attorney Relationship Custody & Visitation Child Support Collaborative Law Counseling Divorce/General Domestic Abuse Domestic Partnership Financial Planning Foreign Divorce Mediation Parenting Property Division Spousal Support SEE ALL

Info Categories

Contemplating Divorce Children & Divorce Divorce, Dollars & Debt Divorce Laws Divorce Process Divorce Negotiation SEE ALL

More Information

Articles Checklists Research Center Cases of Interest Dictionary Encyclopedia Encyclopedia (pop-up) Blogs

For Professionals

Advertise With Us Free Network Page Join Our Network Submit Articles Case Management Sign In

Network Sites

California Divorce Support California Divorce Online

Cooperation - The Key to Successful Divorce Mediation

Agreements that come from working together last longer, are less likely to be challenged later, and help to create an atmosphere of success. You don't have to like your spouse to reach a workable divorce agreement (but it helps). You should know, however, which factors are friends of cooperation and which are its enemies.

A divorce involves three dimensions: the physical (separation); the financial (providing quality of life); and the emotional (grieving and healing). The emotional dimension is often the enemy of cooperation. Feeling hurt often fosters a desire to hurt back, leading to a cycle of non-cooperation and hostility. This is a key function of the mediators: to help couples separate the emotion from addressing the physical and financial issues that need to be resolved.

A second enemy of cooperation is a negative attitude about creating agreement. The most current evidence highlights the power of attitude over most other factors in a relationship. A positive attitude will overcome poor communication skill, stressful circumstances and intermittent disappointments (those "bumps" in the road). Mediators can help couples focus on issues in a positive way by offering new and creative perspectives on problems.

Friends of cooperation include the abilities of separating emotion from the task at hand, creating a positive attitude, and setting clear goals. Divorce is often seen as a tug of war. Each spouse will look to "maximize" their position (at the expense of the other spouse). Why not, instead, negotiate a plan that addresses agreed upon goals (i.e., what is in the best interests of the children (see article in January issue); how do we maintain, as close as possible, the pre-divorce standard of living; how does distribution of assets best address the needs of each spouse, etc.). Instead of taking sides, try sitting on the same side and looking at the landscape of what needs to be resolved. Taking an honest look at the needs of the family "community," can lead to faster healing and greater satisfaction in the agreement each spouse has contributed toward creating.

In the absence of cooperation you find competition. By definition, competition creates winners ... and losers! Agreements competitively arrived at open the door for continued challenges. Cooperation leads to a balanced sense of success in the end result - a key factor in the long-term viability of any agreement.


Was this helpful? Like our site & let us know.

Related Articles


Start California Divorce Start Your California Online Divorce Today
Easy, Fast and Affordable with a 100% Guarantee.
California Divorce Find California Divorce Professionals in Your Area:
Join the Network
California Divorce Products, Services and Solutions California Divorce Products, Services and Solutions
California Divorce Resources to Help You Through the Process.
Online Parenting Class California Mandatory Online Parenting Class
Easy and convenient - complete at your own pace online.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Divorce Bookstore
Over 100 Titles of the Best Books on Divorce & Custody.
Divorce Downloads Divorce Download Center
Instantly Download, Books, Manuals, & Forms.
Divorce Worksheet Free California Divorce Worksheet & Separation Agreement
Your Guide to Get Organized and Put Everything in Writing.
   
In a summary dissolution, a hearing with the judge is typically not needed. A marriage of five years or less may be ended by summary dissolution, which is a simplified procedure to terminate a marriage in the state of California. With a summary dissolution, a joint petition is filed when 1) either spouse meets the standard residency requirement, 2) the marriage is irretrievably broken down due to irreconcilable differences, 3) the marriage is childless, 4) the wife is not pregnant, 5) neither spouse owns real estate, 6) there are no unpaid debts greater than $4,000, 7) the total value of community property is less than $25,000, 8) neither spouse has separate property (excluding cars and loans) of greater than $25,000, 9) the spouses have reached an agreement regarding the division and distributions of assets and liabilities, 10) both waive their rights to maintenance and appeal; 11) both have read a brochure about summary dissolution and 12) both desire to end the marriage.
Divorce Lawyers & Mediators
 

Find Professionals

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:

 

Start Your Divorce File for a California Divorce

 

Settle Your Divorce Negotiate Your California Divorce

 

Support Forum California Support Forum

Children In Between - Online Parenting Class


FEATURED TOOL - Online Divorce Negotiation (settle your divorce issues and save on legal fees)

Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site
Limited Offer Women's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"The Absolute Best Investment in Your Divorce"

Men's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"Uncover Your Options and Unleash Solutions"