California Info

California Divorce Start Your Divorce Find Professionals California Articles Divorce Facts Divorce Grounds Residency Divorce Laws Mediation/Counseling Divorce Process Legal Separation Annulments Property Division Alimony Child Custody Child Support Divorce Forms Process Service Grandparent Rights Forum California Products Divorce by County

California Articles

Agreements Attorney Relationship Custody & Visitation Child Support Collaborative Law Counseling Divorce/General Domestic Abuse Domestic Partnership Financial Planning Foreign Divorce Mediation Parenting Property Division Spousal Support SEE ALL

Info Categories

Contemplating Divorce Children & Divorce Divorce, Dollars & Debt Divorce Laws Divorce Process Divorce Negotiation SEE ALL

More Information

Articles Checklists Research Center Cases of Interest Dictionary Encyclopedia Encyclopedia (pop-up) Blogs

For Professionals

Advertise With Us Free Network Page Join Our Network Submit Articles Case Management Sign In

Network Sites

California Divorce Support California Divorce Online

Divorce, Dreams and Nightmares
I have heard people rant and rave and bellow
That we're done and we might as well be dead,
But I'm only a cockeyed optimist
And I can't get it into my head

- Rodgers and Hammerstein – South Pacific

Dreams! Most of us chase them: to live in them, to emulate them, to be a part of them. Who doesn’t want to experience the American dream, be part of a dream team, or live happily ever after? What’s it like when two people contemplate marriage? For many they are rapt in the vision of life’s fulfillment. She (or he) is my dream partner, my soul mate. We are truly committed to each other.

After the passage of time, the vision may shift. Instead of fulfillment, disappointment may set in. The dream begins to fray and nightmares begin to creep in. How does this happen? There is no single answer, but it is not uncommon for one or both partners to begin to measure the other by the “idealized fantasy” of what a partner “should” be. Rarely do people live up to such high expectations. This seems to be a crossroads where some couples adapt to the reality of life and, in a way, become cockeyed optimists. They see difficulties as challenges to overcome and find ways to work together.

Others may seek to find the lost fantasy elsewhere, such as affairs, addictions (to substances, work, sports, etc.), or other distractions. The reality becomes a basis for pessimism. The nightmare becomes real. There seems to be no way out but to “get out.” Is this truly the end?

While it may seem hopeless, life does go on. New opportunities will arise. New dreams will be born. But will the parties have learned anything from the past? Alfred Adler, a founder of the theory of Individual Psychology, believed optimism was key in attaining success in life. Achieving a place in the social fabric is the motivating drive in development. He believed that focus on the future was the best predictor of success. A sense of reality, optimism in the future, and commitment to face challenges leads to a life fulfilled. Reach for the stars, but never forget the blessings of Earth.


Was this helpful? Like our site & let us know.

Related Articles


Start California Divorce Start Your California Online Divorce Today
Easy, Fast and Affordable with a 100% Guarantee.
California Divorce Find California Divorce Professionals in Your Area:
Join the Network
California Divorce Products, Services and Solutions California Divorce Products, Services and Solutions
California Divorce Resources to Help You Through the Process.
Online Parenting Class California Mandatory Online Parenting Class
Easy and convenient - complete at your own pace online.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Divorce Bookstore
Over 100 Titles of the Best Books on Divorce & Custody.
Divorce Downloads Divorce Download Center
Instantly Download, Books, Manuals, & Forms.
Divorce Worksheet Free California Divorce Worksheet & Separation Agreement
Your Guide to Get Organized and Put Everything in Writing.
   
In a summary dissolution, a hearing with the judge is typically not needed. A marriage of five years or less may be ended by summary dissolution, which is a simplified procedure to terminate a marriage in the state of California. With a summary dissolution, a joint petition is filed when 1) either spouse meets the standard residency requirement, 2) the marriage is irretrievably broken down due to irreconcilable differences, 3) the marriage is childless, 4) the wife is not pregnant, 5) neither spouse owns real estate, 6) there are no unpaid debts greater than $4,000, 7) the total value of community property is less than $25,000, 8) neither spouse has separate property (excluding cars and loans) of greater than $25,000, 9) the spouses have reached an agreement regarding the division and distributions of assets and liabilities, 10) both waive their rights to maintenance and appeal; 11) both have read a brochure about summary dissolution and 12) both desire to end the marriage.
Divorce Lawyers & Mediators
 

Find Professionals

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:

 

Start Your Divorce File for a California Divorce

 

Settle Your Divorce Negotiate Your California Divorce

 

Support Forum California Support Forum

Children In Between - Online Parenting Class


FEATURED TOOL - The Divorce Encyclopedia IPhone App (Search 1000 terms from A-Z)

Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site
Limited Offer Women's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"The Absolute Best Investment in Your Divorce"

Men's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"Uncover Your Options and Unleash Solutions"