Divorce mediation process can only work when the spouses make their own voluntary decisions, based on adequate information. In California, the Judicial Counsel disclosure forms for income and expense and for assets and debts, when supported by appropriate documentation, appraisals, evaluations, etc. as needed, provide the requisite hard data information. The mediator should inform the parties that they can obtain not only information but also advice from a variety of sources during the mediation process. Advice may come from financial professionals, e.g. regarding tax planning and projected income, or from mental health professionals, e.g. regarding the children's reaction to the divorce.

Moreover, the parties should be encouraged to talk to each other directly, and to listen to the other. This may be facilitated by both parties being given a notepad, so they can note their own ideas and continue to actively listen to the ideas of the other. Initially, the mediator can ask the party to repeat what the other has just said, which serves two purposes. First, it insures that the message was accurately understood. Second, it assures the speaker that he/she is being listened to.

If one of the parties is hesitant to verbalize, there may be a reason. The mediator can take this up in a separate session. At least one separate session should be held with each spouse to insure that the spouse is satisfied that he/she is being heard, and to permit airing of an issue that he/she may be reluctant to bring up with the spouse present.