California Divorce Start Your Divorce Find Professionals California Articles Divorce Facts Divorce Grounds Residency Divorce Laws Property Division Alimony Child Custody Child Support Divorce Forms Grandparent Rights Forum California Products Divorce by County
Agreements Attorney Relationship Custody & Visitation Child Support Collaborative Law Counseling Divorce/General Domestic Abuse Domestic Partnership Financial Planning Foreign Divorce Mediation Parenting Property Division Spousal Support
Who, What, Where, Why, When and How - Telling Children You’re Getting Divorced
"Divorce begins with too many unspoken words and things at the end of the day." Anon.
For many parents deciding to divorce, informing their children is among the most difficult and worrisome parts of the process. There has been so much written, depicted in movies and television, and spread through anecdotal stories about the damage children suffer in divorce, parents are frightened about handling the divorce "wrong" for the children. It can add to more stress and tension between the divorcing couple in how they will manage the divorce with their children.
While some opinions of the experts differ, some things are fairly consistent in the advice they give.
It is generally best to let the children know as soon as both parents have passed the point of possible reconciliation. Children are sensitive to parent behaviors and their anxiety in not hearing the truth can be costly. It is important for parents to plan - and have a plan - to tell their children. The plan should have, as a minimum, considered explaining why you are divorcing (not details, but substance), where they will be living, where the other parent will be living, when they will see each parent, and preparation to answer, as truthfully as possible (consider age and development) questions the children might ask. Children need to know they are loved, will be cared for, and are not responsible for the divorce.
A family meeting, at a time and in a place, without distractions is best. Provide ample time for questions. Plan at least a second meeting after everyone has had time to digest the information. The divorce is a process, not an event, for the children. Be there for them.
Either parent may be ordered to pay an amount necessary for the support, maintenance and education of the child. Child support is calculated using the California child support guidelines. An amount different from that which is produced using the guidelines may be ordered based on specific deviation factors and also at the discretion of the court.
Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
|Your Right to Child Custody, Visitation & Support
Cover Price: $
Your Price: $17.95
You Save: $7.00
"A Plain English Guide to Protecting Your Children"
Author: Mary L. Boland, Attorney at Law
|The information contained on this page is not to be considered legal advice. This website is not a substitute for a lawyer and a lawyer should always be consulted in regards to any legal matters. Divorce Source, Inc. is also not a referral service and does not endorse or recommend any third party individuals, companies, and/or services. Divorce Source, Inc. has made no judgment as to the qualifications, expertise or credentials of any participating professionals. Read our Terms & Conditions.|