Children’s Bill of Rights in a Divorce

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Children’s Bill of Rights in a Divorce

Information Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc.

The best interest of the children means what a judge says it means, but courts go to extraordinary measures to protect a minor child. For example, in many jurisdictions the judges tacitly or explicitly consider what is called "Children’s Bill of Rights" in contested custody decisions.

Here is a list of a Children’s Bill of Rights, which are considered in all custody decisions to be in support of the best interest of the children:

A continuing relationship with both parents
Being seen not as a piece of property, but as a human being recognized to have unique feelings, ideas, and desires consistent with that of an individual
Continuing care and proper guidance from each parent
Not to be unduly influenced by either parent to view the other parent differently
Expressed love, friendship, and respect for both parents
Freedom from having to hide those stated emotions or made to be ashamed of such
An explanation that the impending action of divorce was in no way caused by the child’s actions
Not being the subject and/or source of any and all arguments
Continuing, honest feedback with respect to the divorce process and its impact on the changing relationships of the family
Maintenance of regular contact with both parents and a clear explanation for any change in plans and/or cancellations
Enjoyment of a pleasurable relationship with both parents, never to be employed as a manipulative bargaining tool

While the language may vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, the logic is clear:

The divorce is not the fault or responsibility of the child.
Both parents, the custodial and the noncustodial, are important to the child’s well being.
A child is not property, and his or her custodial parent does not own him or her. The child is not to be enlisted as an ally or spy in continuing disputes between his parents.
The "expressed love, friendship and respect" of both parents is equally important.
The impending divorce ends the marriage of his or her parents; it does not end their parental responsibilities to the child.

Information Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc.

Useful Online Tools

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Mandatory Parenting Class - This service if for you, whether you are court mandated or if you simply want the best, up to date information about how to keep your kids healthy and safe throughout the divorce process.

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CHILDREN’S REACTION – A child’s adjustment to divorce depends upon (1) the quality of their relationship with each parent before the divorce, (2) the intensity and duration of the parental conflict, and (3) the parents' ability to focus on the needs of the children in the divorce.