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Words of Wisdom for Women in Divorce - Fear
Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Inspiration: After a divorce or even during the process. Most people live in some kind of fear. It may be the fear of the unknown or the fear of making a mistake. Sometimes these fears immobilize people to the point that the fear itself becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Anything new and different has with it certain unknowns, but that can actually be exciting as it represents a new beginning, but if fear is allowed to rear its ugly head than no change can happen.

Action:

  • Write down what changes are on your horizon
  • Write down what you fear about each of these changes
  • What is the worst case scenario if each of those fears is realized?
  • What is the best case scenario if each of those changes takes place?
  • What steps can you start today to take to move to the best case scenario?
  • Now take those steps!

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. - W. Clement Stone

Inspiration: I feel many people get stuck in thinking too much. They mull over every situation and try to figure out everything that can go wrong. They spend so much time and thinking that they fail to act. Fear is an emotion that will rob you of everything. It feeds on itself and the more you fear the greater the fear grows. The only solution to fight fear is to take action. Even if it is one small step toward something that you desire in your life and fear has prevented you from moving forward.

Action: Take one step today toward something that you desire that up until this point fear has prevented you from achieving.

While we are focusing on fear, worry, or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love. - Bo Bennett, Year to Success

Inspiration: This is so true in the event when a trauma has occurred in one's life. The negatives of fear, worry and hate tend to consume a person and the very thing we wish and hope will not happen actually become our reality. We are attracting the very things we don't want. We are a magnet of our emotions. If we are constantly attracting pain in our lives, we need to ask ourselves what negative feelings I am holding on to. Divorce is ugly and it leaves deep wounds and scars and only a mindset change where we focus on happiness, enthusiasm and love will change what comes into our lives.

Action:

  • What thoughts are you holding on to?
  • Are they thoughts of happiness, enthusiasm and love?
  • Are they thoughts of fear, worry and hate?
  • You cannot hold both sets of thoughts one will dominate and rule your life
  • Choose wisely for what you choose will determine your future

The most fearful unbelief is unbelief in yourself. - Thomas Carlyle

Inspiration: It is tough to believe in oneself after one has been deeply hurt. So many doubts, so many fears, so little belief in oneself. Even if the divorce is not your fault - the nagging doubts of "why did it happen" "could I have prevented it?" "What did I do wrong" "why didn't I see it coming" On one level you are good at talking to yourself about the things that went wrong and on another level there are doubts. You can only fight doubts by finding all the positive things about yourself

Action:

  • Focus on who you are and all your good attributes.
  • Start a journal and daily write down good things about you
  • Realize that you have value and worth - you are not defined by what happened


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