Counseling Before You Divorce

Many marriages have been saved through counseling and activities involving the church.

If you have children, especially small children, take an extra deep look into what is wrong with your marriage. Children deserve this extra look and you and your spouse exploring every last option there is to keep your marriage alive. Many times a good marriage counselor and a couple of sessions can get you on the path to strengthening your marital relationship.

All marriage counselors are not alike. Just as with all other professions, there are good ones, and not so good ones. If you feel your marital problems are not being recognized, addressed, or solved, then try another one. It does not hurt to get a different and/or unique perspective on your particular marriage situation. Healing a marriage is no different than a patient obtaining a second opinion on a medical condition and subsequent treatment.

Personality differences between the counselor and you can and often do clash. A clash in personalties can hinder your ability and desire to discuss in detail the problems with your relationship. Although, it may take a couple of sessions before you feel comfortable in revealing the depth of the problems, do not hesitate to move on to another counselor if the feeling is just not right.

If you find yourself bouncing from one counselor to another, take a good look at yourself. This is a sign you are at least part of the problem, if not the entire problem. This type of behavior indicates you are not satisfied with others opinions and/or most likely you think you are better than everyone else.

Make a list of all of the problems with your relationship. This list should include your faults as well as your spouse’s. Make sure to include problematic issues your job and outside interests are creating. In some situations, your job, which requires a 70-hour workweek, is the main culprit. So the question may be, "is the money more important than your spouse and/or family?"



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