Omnipresent in the arena of divorce and custody is the notion that it takes two people to have an argument and that at any time one person can stop the conflict by giving the other person what he or she wants. Many times, judges allow themselves to be seduced by this simplistic concept. Rather than try to determine who is right and who is wrong, some judges (because of lack of interest or lack of time) will apply pressure to both parties-in the form of verbal abuse, threats of financial sanctions, or sentencing the couple to attend parenting classes at night-until one party buckles under the pressure and lets the other have his or her way.

Lawyers can do little to protect you from this judicial attitude short of keeping you out of the courtroom. And the only way to stay out of court is for your lawyer to prepare so well for court that the other side would rather settle than have a showdown. Don’t believe for one minute that all you have to do to get justice is tell your story to a judge. That’s just not the way it works.