Divorce is obviously a difficult time in the lives of both spouses. When children are involved, it is even more stressful.

Often this leads to times when things are said about the other spouse out of anger or frustration. Many times this takes place in the presence of the children.

A very important thing to consider is that your children love both of their parents and do not want to choose sides in the divorce. Expert psychologists tell us that children absorb a personal hurt when someone says something bad about a parent. Even if it is the other parent saying it.

In more serious cases, children suffer from Parental Alienation Syndrome and for a while may in fact begin to believe what the complaining spouse is saying. But when the children become adults and are governed more by their own independent judgment, they often are resentful of the complaining parent who brought on this dysfunction to their childhood.

Bottom Line: From my experience as a child custody attorney, don't expose your children to the details of the disagreements you have with your spouse.

(copyright Stann Givens 2009)