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Practical Tips on Parental Conduct During and Following Divorce
  • Put your children's welfare first. Never use your children as a weapon against your spouse.
  • Be sure your children have ample time with the other parent. They need it.
  • Don't introduce your children to your new romantic partner until the children have adjusted to your separation and your new relationship is stable.
  • Don't bring your children to court or to your lawyer's office.
  • Keep to the schedule. Give the other parent and the children as much notice as you can when you will not be able to keep to the schedule.
  • Be considerate.Be flexible. You may both need to adjust the schedule from time to time.
  • Giving of yourself is more important than giving material things. Your children need your consistent love and attention.
  • Do not use your children as spies to report to you about the other parent.
  • Do not use the children as couriers to deliver messages, money or information.
  • Try to agree on decisions about the children, especially matters of discipline, so that one parent is not undermining the other parent's efforts.
  • Avoid arguments or confrontations while dropping off or picking up the children and at other times when your children are present.
  • Don't listen in on your children's phone calls with the other parent.
  • Maintain your composure. Try to keep a sense of humor. Remember that your children's behavior is affected by your attitude and conduct.
  • Assure your children they are not to blame for the breakup, and are not being rejected or abandoned by either parent.
  • Don't criticize the other parent in front of your children. Your children need to respect both parents.


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In Illinois, alimony is awarded without regard to marital misconduct. According to Illinois divorce law, the judge orders support from one spouse to the other if the parties cannot agree. The court awards alimony in a lump sum or for a fixed or indefinite period of time. The alimony may be paid from the income or property of the other spouse after considering all relevant factors, including the income and assets of each spouse, the needs of each party, the earning capacity of each party, any impairment of the earning capacity of the party seeking alimony caused by marital sacrifices, the time necessary for the receiving party to seek employment, the standard of living established while married, the length of the marriage, the age and health of both parties, and the contributions and services by the party seeking maintenance to the education or career potential of the other spouse.
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"A Plain English Guide to Protecting Your Children"

Author: Mary L. Boland, Attorney at Law