Now that you have read something about how a divorce progresses, you can probably see the similarities between a divorce and many of life’s other challenges: a golf game, an election campaign, repairing a funny noise in the toilet, the quest to get pregnant, a war. First, pick a challenge from your past. Do you remember how things started out and then changed direction and how, as a result, you felt alternating elation and despair? Remember the unpredictable twists and turns you took on your way to the final result? Remember how it took much longer than you had originally thought it should?

As your divorce progresses and your nerves start to fray, compare the divorce to those other struggles. You are going to have ups and downs, but having a bad day does not mean that all is lost. Look at your action plan and see how far you have come. The emergencies that seemed so important last month have faded away, only to have their places taken by new ones. Divorce is a process, and for every problem that crops up, there are several ways to fix it or turn it to your advantage-as long as you persevere. Hang on to your perspective and your sense of burner. If you have children, you need to rise above the mudslinging and get on with living and having a positive relationship with the kids.