The stress of a divorce and especially the behavior of your spouse can put you on edge. Because financial and childcare arrangements are up in the air, and because spouses can be uncooperative regarding these matters, planning anything is extremely difficult. It’s almost as if your life is not your own. If you are lucky enough to have a job, you probably go to work each day wondering how much of the money you are earning will be taken away and given to your spouse and whether you will have any funds left after paying the spouse, the child support, and the lawyers.

It’s not surprising then that whenever your spouse acts unexpectedly or something happens that could worsen your plight, you feel like calling your lawyer and passing along the information. Sometimes, though, what has happened does not need to be communicated to your lawyer at all. Other times, the information can be written down and mailed or faxed instead.

Let’s say your ex is supposed to bring Bobby back at 7:00 P.M., but he doesn’t bring him until 7:30. Let’s say this happens at least once a week. Do you need to call your lawyer at 7:30 P.M. each time your ex is late? Unless your lawyer specifically tells you to, don’t call. This type of information can certainly wait until normal business hours and can even be communicated in a letter-assuming that a hearing, trial, or other court proceeding is not imminent.

Always pause and reflect before calling your lawyer. Ask yourself... Do I need to call about this, or would a letter be more effective? A letter serves the dual function of apprising the lawyer of the information and putting the information in writing. If you tell your lawyer something over the phone, either the lawyer must write it down at your expense or it won’t get written down, thereby increasing the likelihood that it will be forgotten.