Some couples consider divorce mediation but shy away because they cannot imagine sitting down with their partner and agreeing on anything. The argument goes something like this”we can’t even agree on what we disagree aboutif you think a mediator will be able to help figure out our finances and parenting plans you must be crazy!”

Well, then I must be crazy.

Don’t get me wrong. Divorce mediation can be challenging. There are times when mediations face seemingly unsolvable impasses. In fact, it is not uncommon during divorce mediation for one or both individuals to seriously consider “walking away” from the mediation.

I regularly find myself in awe of the mediation process because despite these despairing moments, couples almost always overcome the impasse and move forward. Using one case example, I will describe some of the more common ways mediation helps couples “stay at the table” and develop a plan – collaboratively – that works for both of them and their children.

Setting the Scene: "John" and "Sue" spend three mediation sessions debating and rehashing the same child support ideas. The discussion has been circular and tempers have flared. Both John and Sue have contemplated leaving the mediation and taking their chances with attorneys and court. Yet, weeks later they are able to leave their mediation for a final time with a mutually developed separation agreement. What happened?