Family & Divorce Mediation Articles
Family & Divorce Mediation Article List
   
 
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Divorce Mediation or Collaborative Divorce, Which Way to Go? - What are the differences between divorce mediation and collaborative divorce and which works better? While both divorce mediation and collaborative divorce are designed to promote resolution and avoid costly, stressful litigation, they have a few key differences...
Divorce Mediation and Domestic Violence - Divorce Mediation does work quite well for a lot of people. Mediators can help couples get divorced in a more amicable, private, faster and less expensive way than divorce litigation. However, we do not think it is a magic bullet that will work for everyone who is getting a divorce...
How Does Mediation Work? - Going through a divorce is tough on everyone. Especially if you have children. So to try and minimize the stress and cost an attorney-driven divorce will bring to you and your family, you've decided to learn more about the peaceful and cost-effective method of mediation
No Judges, No Problem - There has been a slight panic among some divorce lawyers I know about the lack of family law judges available to deal with divorce cases. I don’t pretend to know the political ins and outs of it, but the gist is that there are judicial vacancies, and not enough judges to make the system work...
Parenting Plan Tune-Ups - With school starting up again, it is a good time to ask - is your parenting plan still working? Or does your parenting plan need a tune-up? When divorcing couples make their initial parenting plan, it often reflects the needs, activities and schedules of the family at the time. However, as your children grow, their interests and activities change
Why Are These People Getting a Divorce? - How did we end up here? As a divorce mediator, I do understand that usually one, if not both, of the people using my services asks themselves this question. People do not think they will get divorced when they get married, even though statistics say otherwise. Many clients actually get along quite well with one another...
Mediation and Taxes - It is tax season again which makes us think about all the tax issues that we raise in divorce mediation. In divorce mediation, we guide divorcing couples through child support, spousal support and division of assets, and tax issues arise during all of these discussions...
Learn The One Simple Question That Can Make Your Mediation Easier - Want to know a secret? Divorce doesn’t have to difficult. Yet too many people allow it to turn into an outright war. Hiring lawyers and going to court while spending years of their lives and hundreds of thousands of dollars litigating. For what? So they could settle a score or be proven right...
Help! My Wife Wants a Mediator! - In the spirit of “turnabout is fair play” and in response to our article on husbands wanting mediators, I thought I’d take a shot at 3 reasons why a wife wants a mediator. Certainly the process of mediation can be a tremendous benefit to both parties and their children. But sometimes the divorce process makes people suspicious
Help! My Husband Wants a Mediator! - As absurd as the title of this post is to me as a Divorce Mediator, apparently there are some women out there who think if their husband wants a mediator, they’re trying to put one over on them. But nothing could be farther (I hope) from the truth
Mediation vs. Lawyers for Divorce - The decision to get a divorce in Illinois, New Jersey or anywhere else for that matter is a painful and difficult choice. But while some may think the decision to divorce itself is the hardest part of the process, the choice of using a mediator or a lawyer for your divorce can be an even more difficult one. But with a little education, you can make the decision that’s best for you in your particular situation
3 Things Judges Won’t Tell You - Recently I had the honor of being a “judge for a day” at the 13th Annual INADR International Law School Mediation Tournament held in Chicago, Illinois. And as I sat there observing two future mediators attempt to gently guide two teams of role playing clients and their respective advocates towards a mutually agreeable resolution, a single thought kept running through my head...
Mediation Is All About L.O.V.E. - As a mediator, it’s my job to help people just like you and your spouse separate peacefully, cost-effectively and with as little impact on you and your children as possible. And while it may seem strange to you, when it comes to divorce, I like to bring a little L.O.V.E. to the proceedings...
Can I Use Mediation in a High Conflict Divorce? - It’s certainly no secret that mediation is the best way to get a divorce. It’s cheaper, it’s more amicable, you and your spouse stay in control of the entire process and you’ll achieve your divorce much faster than if you litigated. But what happens in cases of high conflict divorce?...
Use Mediation to Handle the F.E.A.R. Based Reasons of Divorce - If there is one thing that my clients can all agree on is that the transition between marriage and divorce is a scary time. And while I wish I could offer them a handy-dandy knob to turn off the fear like the one pictured in this post, in reality, it just doesn’t work that way...
Why is Mediation Helpful in Resolving a Divorce Settlement? - When a couple makes the difficult decision to divorce, the next step is determining how to do so. Many people choose to hire attorneys and file their case with the court, without even realizing there is a better option. Mediation has many benefits over an attorney driven divorces...
How Long Does Mediation Take? - Ok, so you’ve made the difficult decision to divorce. Even more importantly, you’ve made the wise choice to use mediation instead of going to court. One of the most commonly asked questions I receive from potential clients is: how long does divorce mediation take? Obviously there is no definitive answer to that question...
Common Misconceptions About Mediation - When you made the announcement to your friends and family that you and your spouse were planning on getting a divorce, you probably got an earful from people telling you what you should do, or what you should expect. Unfortunately no matter how well-intentioned these people may be, their advice and suggestions are probably not based on fact or the law...
What Do Divorce Mediators Do? - So you’ve heard about mediation. Perhaps you know someone who used it for their divorce, or maybe you’ve just learned about it from doing your own research. You probably know it costs less than litigated divorce, and that it’s more amicable...
What is Divorce Mediation? - The Basics - If you’re considering divorce or have already made the decision to divorce, you’re probably aware that there are many options available to you. You can choose to hire an attorney and head to court. You can choose collaborative divorce, which is basically a watered down version of litigated divorce...
Why Virtual Mediation is a Great Option for Divorce - We all know that there are plenty of ways to get married, but what about ending a marriage? When many people think of divorce, they envision standing on opposite sides of a courtroom, letting two lawyers battle it out and a judge decide what’s best for them and their future. The truth is there are plenty of options for how to get a divorce...
Where do I Start? - Where do I start? When a potential client calls to ask about divorce mediation, I often get asked this question. The simple answer is we start wherever you are, with whatever you know. We don’t ask you to bring any paperwork with you to the first meeting
Is Divorce Mediation Cheaper, Faster, Better? - If you’re looking for a better alternative than using lawyers to handle your divorce, you’ve come to the right place. Divorce mediation is cheaper, faster and better than hiring lawyers to litigate your divorce. Saving you time, money and heartache throughout the process
Coping with an Unwanted Divorce - In approximately 90% of the cases we see here at Equitable Mediation, there is always one spouse who is driving the divorce. Leaving the other spouse coping with an unwanted divorce. Very rarely do we have two people who agree that divorce is the path they both want to travel down
Gray Divorce - Gray divorce - divorce among couples over 50 - is becoming more common. According to research recently reported in The New York Times (9.22.13), for the first time, more Americans over 50 are divorced than widowed...
It Takes a Village - I have found that it does indeed take a village to raise my family. I now happily accept my friend’s offer to drop off my kid after a play date, carpool for gymnastics, or pick up some Tylenol at the pharmacy when my kid has a fever. Raising a family takes a community. Well, so does getting a divorce...
Collaborative Divorce and Mediation - We cannot change the fact that couples will divorce but Mediation and Collaborative Divorce can change the way people divorce. Both Mediation and Collaborative Divorce help the parties move forward to a compassionate and respectful ending to their marriage
Divorce is the Solution - Divorce is the solution to a problem, not the problem itself. The problem is you are in an unhappy marriage and no longer want to be. The solution is to no longer be married to this person and move on with your life...
"Should I stay or should I go?” - Will it cause greater psychological harm to your children if you get divorced or stay unhappily married? Before you can answer that you need to know that you tried to resolve the intense marital discord. It will relieve you of any remorse you may feel about the impact of your decision on your kids...
Is Divorce Mediation Right for You? - Divorce Mediation sounds like a great alternative to litigation, but is it for everyone? We often talk about the advantages of going through divorce mediation, rather than expensive, time-consuming litigation. Mediation, which involves both husband and wife working out an agreement with one neutral, impartial mediator, saves time and money...
Negotiation - Hearing and Listening - For peacemakers, it is important to distinguish between hearing and listening. Hearing is a physical act in which sound is amplified in the ear and disseminated to the brain for interpretation and response. Listening, however, is an act of cognition in which what is heard is interpreted and understood by the body/mind
The "Aunt Lucy’s Quilt" Effect in Divorce Mediation - People who are going through a divorce usually have many emotions in common – anger, depression, denial, confusion, sadness, fear, apathy, guilt, pain, and a loss of self-confidence, all making for this being a “crazy time”. They also have some behaviors in common. One of them, I call the “Aunt Lucy’s Quilt” syndrome...
Divorce For One, Please - What if only one half of the couple wants to get divorced? As divorce mediators, we often hear this question. Generally, both people know that their marriage is rocky. But often, only one spouse feels ready to end it. The reasons vary
Reasons to Consider Mediation in Your Divorce Case - Mediation has been gaining traction in the realm of family law for a couple of decades now, so it is not new but it is still an underutilized form of dispute resolution. While my favorite way to resolve a divorce case is with a simple written agreement in the early stages of the case, in those cases where negotiations are stuck mediation is almost always the best alternative...
Are You Contemplating Divorce? - Divorce and separation are probably two of the most stressful life events, good or bad, that people endure with the death of a spouse being first on the list. Knowing about the toll that divorce takes on couples and how to deal with them can be helpful to those who are contemplating divorce. I discovered that mediation is the better way. Win-win...
The Affordable Divorce - “I want to get divorced, but I don’t want to spend a lot of money. What’s the best way to do it?” The great thing about divorce mediation is that it is one of those rare times when the cheaper option is also the better one...
Adversarial and Mediation Approaches to Divorce - This is a useful chart to help you see the main differences between an adversarial divorce and one that is mediated. Some of the main differences include how likely the spouses are to have post-divorce disputes, and how emotionally stressful the divorce can be, just to name a few...
To Mediate or to Litigate? You Decide - There is no denying it: divorce is one of the most stressful experiences people can go through. Even when the breakup is amicable, and especially when they have children, divorcing couples experience emotional upheaval and fear of an uncertain future...
Valentine’s Day - Valentine’s Day may be a good time to take stock of your relationship. Sometimes, the thought of having to spend days like Valentine’s Day without a partner keeps people together even though they are in unhappy couplings. While no relationship is chockfull of chocolate kisses and red roses every day, now is the time to assess...
High Conflict Divorce Mediation - Some couples consider divorce mediation but shy away because they cannot imagine sitting down with their partner and agreeing on anything. The argument goes something like this”we can’t even agree on what we disagree aboutif you think a mediator will be able to help figure out our finances and parenting plans you must be crazy!” Well, then I must be crazy...
Do We Really NEED a Mediator? - “If we pretty much agree on the issues, why do we need a divorce mediator?” Sometimes people find a website, read through it, and figure that they can probably handle the divorce on their own, saving time and money. The truth is, while they may have a basic plan for separating, they may not have considered all the issues...
Cost of Litigation versus Mediation in Family Law - Do-it-yourself divorces and pro se (representing yourself) litigants are on the rise, especially as the economy continues to put the squeeze on families financially and people simply cannot afford to hire lawyers...
Cooperative Divorce - What is a Cooperative Divorce? Clearly this appears to be an oxymoron. How can pulling apart be described as “cooperative?” The answer lies in an understanding of both the history of divorce and its emotional components. While the legal system deals with the physical and financial separation, it does not provide skill sets for the psychological and emotional separation...
Profile of a Divorce Mediation - Divorce mediation is an enlightened way to resolve financial and parenting issues when couples make the difficult wrenching decision to separate and divorce. The cooperative mediation approach seeks to minimize an adversarial process; a skilled mediator helps people center on the children’s best interests...
Parenting - Children are more capable of adapting to parental separation if their parents function effectively. Each parent will develop his or her own style of parenting, and each parent should be tolerant of the other’s parenting style with respect to that parent’s ability to make day-to-day decisions when the children are with him or her...
Divorce Mediation - Is it a Jig Saw Puzzle, or a Game of Chess? - It is said that Mediation is like a jig saw puzzle – you have a lot of little pieces that don’t look like they will ever fit together. So you go to work on them – one piece at a time, paying very close attention to the little piece in your hand, but always looking at the entire puzzle to be sure it fits in properly...
How To Not Talk To An Ex - How does divorce mediation work when you don’t even want to be in the same room as your soon-to-be ex-spouse? Mediators have specific skill sets to get people to communicate who can’t stand each other so they can make important life-altering decisions...
How to Approach Your Mediation - With divorce mediation firmly taking hold as one of the best options available for separation and divorce, many books, articles, blogs and manuals are now being written which offer very useful tips and suggestions on how spouses should approach their own divorce mediation case...
The Biggest Myth of Divorce Mediation - After having mediated hundreds of separation and divorce matters over the years, I have found that many spouses have preconceived notions about what divorce mediation is and how it will or will not work for them...
10 Tips for Choosing the Right Divorce Mediator - Perhaps you've come to the realization that divorce mediation is the way to go for you and your spouse, but how do you choose a divorce mediator? After all, not all divorce mediators are created equal...
Divorce Mediation - A Better Way to Get Divorced - It is an unfortunate fact that approximately half of all marriages in this country will ultimately end in divorce. It is also an unfortunate fact that many participants in the divorce process will find themselves in bitter, expensive and acrimonious battles. The court room becomes a battle field and the divorce becomes a war and the participants and, more importantly, their children suffer lifelong consequences...
REACT – The Five Factors for Finding Your Divorce Mediator - We tell people to use the REACT five factor test to find the best fit for you: Reputation, Expertise, Approach, Cost , and Travel. If you can find a divorce mediator who meets your needs in each of these areas, you can begin on the right foot...
Use of Mediation with Divorcing Couples - As the process promotes civility and cooperation in the task-orientation focus, a number of my clients have stated, "if only we had functioned this way before, we wouldn't be in this place now"
Divorce Mediation - A Personal Journey - I sometimes wonder whether mediation made my journey lighter, or our approach to divorce was more suited to mediation - probably both. These are the valuable lessons I learned
Conscious Divorce Or Emotional Divorce? - When a marriage ends, it is usually accompanied by intense emotions that too often result in terrible choices being made that end up hurting the couple and the children. You don’t have to be Gandhi, Buddha or any other kind of evolved spirit to have a “Peaceful Divorce,” but you do need to have the intention to do so
Divorce Lawyers and the Reptilian Brain - No one goes into marriage thinking they will divorce one day, but if half of all marriages end in divorce, as the statistics tell us, the chance of a couple staying together are about 50/50, which may be a good bet or bad bet - depending on whether or not you like to gamble
Grandparents and Divorce - When your children come to you with their tales of marital woe beware. There will be a great temptation to finance your child's divorce, thinking that you are helping them get custody or more marital property
You Don’t Have To Be Ruined Financially or Emotionally In A Divorce - If you have been divorced or have heard about a nasty one, then I am preaching to the choir when I outline the emotional and financial devastation that can be wrought on emotionally vulnerable couples who get involved in the adversarial system that IS divorce court
85% of Divorcing Couples Should Avoid Lawyers! - The divorce process is so complicated most people just don't want to deal with it on their own. Traditionally the process of getting a divorce has involved hiring lawyers, going to court and letting a judge or the lawyers decide and/or negotiate the outcome
5 Things Divorcing Parents Should Know - When you had your child or children your life changed from being focused on yourself to suddenly having to consider how all your life choices would impact the kids. That is the way it should be
Divorce Without Dispute - The traditional practice and procedures of divorce and child custody are adversarial by nature and run counter to the more productive cooperative method. Under the traditional practice, the spouses each hire an attorney to argue their respective viewpoints
Mediation 101 - During the divorce process, communication between husband and wife often breaks down. Before going down the often emotional and expensive road to divorce court many couples choose to try or are required to try divorce mediation
Choose Wisely - Sometimes life happens, mistakes are made, trust is broken, and for any number of reasons we find ourselves choosing a divorce. It is at this point in time that we should carefully evaluate choices, plan and choose wisely
Surviving a Divorce with Children - Through mediation with many parents, I’ve developed coping skills and suggestions, what I like to call a divorced parent’s survival list, which has helped both divorced parents and their children along the journey to recovery...
Dads, Divorce, and Mediation - When it comes to separation and divorce of a couple who have children, people often minimize the effects it can have on the man and his role as a father...
Divorce and High-Conflict Parents - For many couples who come to mediation, the parenting plan can be the most important long term issue addressed...
The Changing Faces of Divorce - Mediation tends to these issues by limiting the expense of resolving these issues and employing experienced facilitators committed to finding practical solutions that fit the family's circumstances...
Get Ready For Divorce Mediation - A Complete 30 Item Checklist - Divorce Mediation requires complete and full disclosure of all information from both spouses in order to be successful. In complex marital estates with many assets and debts, such information can sometimes be voluminous...
Mediation - Mediation is a valuable tool that helps divorce attorneys resolve all or some of the issues presented quickly and efficiently...
6 Easy Tips in Preparing for Your First Divorce Mediation Session - Now that you have made this very wise choice for your family's future, you are probably feeling a bit anxious or nervous about how things will go...
The Therapist-Mediator - Divorce mediation has, as its ultimate goal, the achievement of a legal resolution. At the Center we have team mediators of attorneys and therapists. So, what does a mediator with training as a psychotherapist bring to a mediation that has a legal objective?...
Why Try Divorce Mediation? - People often contemplate mediation versus divorce litigation, as if it is an either-or decision. It isn't. You can still litigate if you opt to mediate. Either way, divorce mediation allows both parties to attempt to reach an out-of-court settlement, but nothing is binding...
Children & Divorce: Why Divorce Mediation Offers Hope - Studies indicate that the challenges and losses experienced by children of divorce are more profound and longer lasting than previously thought. Children of divorce tend to be at risk for poor academic performance, health problems, poor sense of personal accountability, and even substance abuse...
How Does Mediation Work? - Let's start out with the definition of mediation. Mediation is a process whereby the parties and their attorneys meet with a neutral mediator who has been trained in law and in the art negotiating a compromise and settlement agreement out of the parties. In other words, the mediator is there to aid the parties in reaching their own agreement...
Mediation - The First Session - Many people want to know what we do during the first mediation session. In that session, whether it is a family or business mediation, we usually start by reviewing and discussing what the process will be like...
You Have a Choice - In the ideal situation, family divorce mediation should always be the first option for separating or divorcing couples. In mediation, an experienced, well-trained neutral mediator helps facilitate a conversation between the parties and, through a series of sessions, helps them reach an agreement which works for their family in a unique way...
Gray or Mature Divorce Considerations - Divorce does not discriminate as it is blind to age, race, economic background, education, number of years married, children, property ownership and so on. Couples who have been married a short time or do not have children have far different issues to contend with than couples who have been married a long time, have adult children and have accumulated significant assets over a lifetime of marriage...
Divorce Mediation in Tough Economic Times - In these tough economic times, New Jersey couples who engage in divorce mediation are often in for a surprise when presented with the realities of their financial situation. Selling a house isn't as simple as it used to be and for many couples their homes are worth less than they owe or less than what they paid for them...
5 Tips for Divorce Mediation Success - For anyone who engages in divorce mediation, sessions can be a stressful time. Here are 5 tips for divorce mediation success from the perspective of a New Jersey divorce mediator to help you and your spouse move on with your lives as peacefully and efficiently you can...
Divorce Mediation - Explained Easily - Mediation is one of three options for divorce in Massachusetts. (Adversarial Divorce and Collaborative Divorce are the other two.) Mediation is not always the best option; however, when it is the best-Mediation can save time and money, and avoid the discomfort of Adversarial Divorce...
Six Rules to Success in Divorce Mediation - As chaotic as divorce may seem, believe it or not there are some tried and true rules for having a successful mediation. Below you will find six rules to keep in mind so that your divorce mediation sessions can go as smoothly as possible...
Bringing Sanity to the Divorce Process - If you and your spouse have decided that you need to separate, it would seem that the last thing you would want to do is to engage in a process that would be costly, inefficient and likely to increase the rancor between you. Yet, that is sadly what most couples unknowingly do if they believe that they have no option other than to litigate their divorce...
Common Myths about Mediation - Only people who agree can mediate. If that were true, there would be no need to mediate. Of course people who disagree can mediate, just like people who are angry can mediate and people who don't really like each other can mediate. All they have to do is agree to mediate, not agree upon every issue between them...
Divorce Mediation: A Tool for Empowerment - Why do individuals choose to mediate their separation, divorce, or post-divorce issues? For twenty-eight years, we have been tracking the responses of our clients...
Fault or No Fault - It's Not a Mediation Question - The question of fault or the reason for the demise of the relationship is not germane to the mediation process. Mediation is a problem-solving approach; it focuses on designing settlements that are fair to all involved family members...
Mediated Family Estate-Planning - Two very emotional and stressful events in any person's life are divorce and death. For years mediators have helped siblings with estate disputes after their parents are deceased. An enormous amount of misery and conflict could be avoided if parents would talk to their adult children about their estate-planning goals...
Making Use of Mediation for Small Businesses - A key business skill for the twenty-first century is knowing how to manage conflict. Choose your conflicts as carefully as you choose your approach. In business, commitments are made to perform and we rely on each other to fulfill promises made...
Top 10 Myths about Mediators - Whether you've been doing your homework and are an expert on mediation or if you aren't sure what mediation is, below is a list of common myths about mediators to help you understand my role in the process and about mediators in general...
Should I Go To Mediation if We Pretty Much Have Things Worked Out? - As a domestic relations mediator, I sometimes have people ask me if they should go to mediation if they "pretty much have things worked out". My answer is "Yes". Mediators deal with issues in divorce, dissolution of domestic partnerships, custody and parenting time on a daily basis...
Preparation for Divorce Mediation - If you are considering mediation to work out the terms of your separation and possible divorce, because you both want to be fair and equitable with each other, now is the time to take some preliminary steps that will make the process smoother for you and the entire family...
Bridging the Gap - Mediating in Situations of Power Imbalance - This situation raises, among other things, the issue of whether mediation is appropriate in the light of an apparent imbalance of power. If the fundamental principle of mediation is that parties' exercise self-determination in reaching mutually agreeable resolutions, is it ever appropriate to mediate when participants do not appear to have equal power or status...
Dirty Tricks in Divorce Mediation - Parenting Plans - When it comes to divorce and mediation, the good news is most parents can put their differences aside but what do you do when one party tries to use the children as pawns to their advantage...
Dirty Tricks in Divorce Mediation - Equitable Distribution - Unlike Parenting Plans where each party tries to have the best interests of their children in mind, when it comes to money, those rules go out the window and the arguments over who gets what, take over...
Divorcing Couples Can Save a Lot of Money with Mediation - One of the hardest things about divorce is its cost, not just emotionally and psychologically, but in cold hard cash. A typical scenario is a husband, wife and two attorneys...
Divorce, Mediation and Being Prepared - Of the four major issues facing divorcing couples: parenting plans, equitable distribution, child support and spousal support/alimony, three of these issues are financial and will require you to produce documentation which is commonly prepared at year end so it's important that you obtain copies as soon as you are able...
Resolving Post Divorce Issues Through Mediation Part 1 - Post divorce parent coordination involves a couple who is already divorced but has issues they need to mediate regarding the children. In this article we'll talk about the first of the two different types of post divorce parent coordination which involves physical custody and some of the questions you will need to address...
Resolving Post Divorce Issues Through Mediation Part 2 - In post divorce parent coordination the two most common issues are physical custody and child support. In this article we'll talk about the second of these post divorce parent coordination issues and some of the questions you will need to address but first let's take a look briefly at what child support actually is...
Divorce Mediation - A Peaceful Divorce IS Possible - You do not have to go to war with your spouse because you are getting divorced. Your attorney's job is to put forth a strong offense and a smart defense, with the goal of "winning" your case. Your spouse's attorney will do the same for your spouse...
Why Mediation is Good for Your Kids - As a domestic relations mediator, I work with a lot of families that include children. The parents have reached a point of no return, where it is no longer possible to "work it out" with each other. Understandably, the parents are often feeling betrayed, hurt, rejected, unloved, ambushed, cheated, and a whole host of other emotions...
Attorney-Supported Mediation in Family Law Matters - When parties mediate in their family law legal process, many times one or both parties have attorneys with whom each is working who can give him or her legal advice about the settlement issues and proposals...
Surviving the Emotional Loss of a Loved One - Mediation Can Help You Deal With the Causes of Divorce - Mediation, by nature and definition, bridges the emotional gulf that can exist between couples. The need to assess priorities, explore opinions, and achieve compromises requires mediators to learn as much as possible about relationships and the individual partners so that both parties are equally represented...
Divorce - It Can Bring Out the Worst in People - Words are perhaps the most popular means of communication we experience. The word "Divorce" is a word that can cause so much hatred, pain, and loss of control. Many people, when faced with divorce, immediately feel the need to make the person they fell in love with become their worst enemy and the root of all evil...
Wise Decisions - Cost Issues in Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation - Approaching the disillusion of a marriage, both parties are faced with many hard decisions. Whether to choose mediation over litigation is fundamental and primary in the divorce process. When couples weigh the pluses and minuses of both choices, the factor of cost must be of primary concern...
Frequently Asked Questions About the Mediation Process - Mediation is an efficient and inexpensive process designed to help people reach the best agreements for them when separating, divorcing, having family disputes, problems at work, complaints with landlords or tenants, and issues with neighbors...
Keeping it Confidential - Mediation and Privacy - Like everything else in life, we like to keep our business our business. There is something so dehumanizing about hearing virtual strangers comment on our private lives and when dissolving a marriage the last thing we want to be is someone's cocktail conversation...
Mediation and Financial Security for Families - Divorce, with all its emotional and financial upheaval, is frequently wrought with stress, fear, and staggering challenge. In the economic times we now find ourselves in, the stress, fear and challenges are being felt by everyone, not just families touched by divorce...
Divorce - Is A Peaceful One Possible? - Why does one word cause so much hatred, pain, loss of control and the immediate need to make the person you fell in love with become your worst enemy and the root of all evil. After the loss of a loved one, divorce is the most emotionally unstable time in a person's life...
Diffusing Crisis - Taking the Drama out of Divorce Through Mediation - There are few situations more likely to produce tension and crisis than marital discord. Two people with diverging interests, goals, and feelings are involved in a struggle but have a complex physical and emotional history...
Designing An Agreement You Can Live With - Mediating a Livable Divorce Agreement - Like every process, there has to be an end product. During your divorce mediation, the ultimate goal is to obtain a written agreement that spells out all the aspects of your divorce and the conclusions you and your spouse have agreed to...
The Fork in the Road - Which Way You Travel is Important - Whenever we meet bumps in the road there is usually more than one path to choose. We make these choices as we choose a school, a career, a home, and a mate. But these choices, like all choices, are rarely written in stone...
Financial Challenges in Divorce Mediation - We all have spending and saving habits that we inherited from our families and other influential people. When we get married, these financial habits often adapt to our partners, a new way of handing money is started and never discussed again...
Divorce Mediation - Cost Saving Process - Daily we are bombarded with articles in the print media, blogs on the internet, and radio and television stories reporting the decline in divorce rates. The reason, all the media pronounce, is a byproduct of the bad economy...
Mediate - Don't Litigate - When a relationship is in conflict, trust is the first thing to go. In the resulting vacuum, anxiety and fear have ample room to grow. Neither person knows what the other is thinking - or about to do...
Mediation and Children - Divorce is painful but it doesn't have to be a disaster. Most parents facing divorce feel anger, sadness, confusion, and fear. Parents want to protect their children from marital conflict and they worry about how their divorce will effect their children. Parents can get valuable help from a professional mediator...
Best Interest of the Children - A Guide for Divorce Mediation - Setting up ground rules to resolve issues help couples keep their eyes on the big picture rather than on mini "victories." That's one of the reasons that a mediated divorce, on average, feels and works better than a litigated divorce...
Mediation Articles to Help a Couple Prepare! - Entering the divorce process has its emotional mine fields. It discourages some from taking the time to properly prepare for negotiation of the post divorce settlement...
Cooperation - The Key to Successful Divorce Mediation - Agreements that come from working together last longer, are less likely to be challenged later, and help to create an atmosphere of success. You don't have to like your spouse to reach a workable divorce agreement (but it helps)...
Mediation is Often the Least Costly Way to a Divorce - Divorce is expensive and the resulting aftermath can devastate a family for a long period of time. Mediation minimizes this expense and the continuing aftershocks of the initial destruction. Some of the costs associated with divorce are...
The Price for Peace - There is so much literature, thousands of articles and hundreds of websites on what to do and how to prepare for a divorce or custody case. More and more I am seeing articles that encourage divorcing parties to mediate and settle out of court to not only save time and money but to save their sanity and the health and wellbeing of their children...
Bargaining Over Positions in Divorce Mediation - As part of our training as divorce mediators in New Jersey, we are given many books and articles to read in order to help us learn different techniques to help people through conflict...
Who Gets to Claim the Children in Divorce Mediation? - In a recent article in the Journal of Accountancy author Valerie Chambers brought to light an important issue you need to consider during divorce mediation: who gets to claim the tax deduction for your children?...
Benefits of Divorce Mediation - While the concept of mediation may seem relatively new, people have understood the benefits of mediation for centuries. Mediation has continued to evolve as the best method of dispute resolution and below you will find what I think are just a few of the benefits of mediation...
Divorce Mediation - The Sensible Way to Say Goodbye - It's no surprise that more than half of all marriages end in divorce. More surprising is the cost of these divorces - with legal fees averaging $22,000 to $48,000 per couple. Add in the anger, hatred, and bitterness, and the stage is set for long-term financial and emotional recovery...
Have A "Good" Divorce" - Unfortunately half of all marriages end in divorce. If there is nothing else to be done to save the marriage, at least end it with as much dignity and fairness while keeping as much control as possible. When a couple has children or significant assets it is vital to work together in order to protect yourselves and your children...
Peaceful Divorce - An Idea Whose Time Has Come - Ask most people what it is like to go through a divorce and chances are you will hear a litany of horror stories about high legal costs, unfair results in court and lawyers who don't care enough about their own clients to return phone calls...
Things to Consider When Considering Divorce - For parents of minor children who want to know what ALL the options are when thinking about divorce, hear this. A mind works best, like a parachute, when it is open. There are very creative ways to divide property and to share children if both parties keep their eye on the prize the well being of the children...
How to Propose Mediation to Your Spouse - Typically, when couples decide to divorce, at least one of the two involved decides to get "educated". In many cases, learning about mediation comes by accident from endless searching for other divorce information on the internet...
Contemplating Divorce? Consider Mediation - Mediation is an especially effective process for resolving issues that arise when a couple contemplates divorce. Mediation allows a husband and wife to make the decisions that are going to affect them and their children for the rest of their lives...
Top Ten Reasons to Use Parenting Plan Mediation in Divorce - The best predictor of the well being of children involved in a divorce is the amount of conflict between parents. In mediation, conflicts are more likely to be resolved, resulting in a more peaceful post-divorce family life...
Dealing With Conflict in Divorce - Conflict before, during and after a divorce is inevitable. Yet, if the conflict continues, you'll never reach an agreement. Over 95% of all divorce cases ultimately settle, so you'll deal with the conflict sooner or later...
10 Tips for Dealing With Arguments - Try to understand your spouse's viewpoint. Once you understand what he or she wants, you can begin to see how you might be able to help resolve the situation...
The Advantages of Divorce Mediation over Going to Court - In mediation, the spouses maintain control and make all the decisions, instead of relying on a judge or court commissioner to do so. Issues are resolved much sooner, at a far lower cost, and with much less stress...
Avoid the Turbulent Waters of Divorce Through Mediation - How is a divorce like a journey through turbulent waters? Imagine that you and your spouse are about to undertake a river rafting trip, and are faced with deciding between two methods of travel...
Mediating Separation Agreements - The difference between separating and divorcing seems obvious, one allows for reconciliation while the other is a final solution approved by the courts. However, more couples are viewing separation and divorce as two stages of one path, rather than two distinct options...
Divorce Mediation - Making Your Divorce Work For You - Too often divorce is seen as a win/lose situation. You turn your destinies over to your two attorneys and hope they know what they are doing. The problems is: they don't know you, your goals and aspiration or your family's needs. In this framework, you are both bound to lose even if one of you initially feels like a winner...
Deconstructing the Divorce Mediation Process - One Practitioner's Approach - My objective in this article is to deconstruct and thereby demystify what happens behind closed doors during the divorce mediation process. I describe an approach to the divorce mediation process, with the caveat that each mediator has their own style, and that there are many right approaches...
If You're Divorcing, Consider Mediation - If you or someone you know is considering, or in the process of getting, a divorce, there's something you should know. There's a way to go through the process that could contain hostilities, save spouses lots of time, and money, and leave the parties more intact when the process is done. That way is mediation...
Divorce Mediation Primer - Mediation is a voluntary settlement process in which an impartial person who is trained in dispute resolution meets with the parties to discuss the issues they wish to resolve. The mediator will facilitate the negotiation of those issues, with the goal of helping the parties reach a settlement...
Collaborative Family Law - Restoring Sanity to the Divorce Process - Consider the average couple on the verge of divorce. Often only one of the spouses wants to end the marriage; the other may know that there are problems but wants to keep trying. In such marriages, one spouse likely feels betrayed, vulnerable, worthless, angry, and possibly depressed; the other spouse may feel guilty about ending the marriage and yet angry about the relentless blame and clinging behavior of his or her spouse...
Choosing a Matrimonial Attorney - A Mediator's Perspective - Whether you choose to mediate or litigate, in all likelihood, you will still require the services of an attorney to review your mediated agreement, prepare the property settlement agreement, and file for your divorce...
Starter Marriages - Top Ten Differences in Divorce Mediation - The biggest lesson people can learn from their own divorces was how to get married again and how to get married for a lifetime. There is a dearth of literature on the subject of starter marriages and the divorce process, let alone the divorce mediation process...
Mediator Neutrality - How is it Possible? - How could a mediator be neutral about your situation when you are getting divorced? Surely one of you is right and the other is wrong! If you know in your bones - and all of your friends agree - that you are right, you may think that mediation would not make sense for you, because you don't want to compromise...
A Better Way To Divorce - We live in demanding and stressful times. Time and money are precious commodities, which are not in abundance nor easily acquired. What are the options for a couple that decide to separate or divorce? Can they avoid a nasty, expensive battle...
Can You Have a Mediated Divorce If Your Are Angry At Your Spouse? - Anger is a normal feeling to have during a divorce. In fact, if you didn't feel angry there would probably be something very wrong. Usually, one person has been unhappy for a period of time preceding the divorce, and was angry during this time...
Mulling Over Mediation - You're separated. Your partner wants you to go to mediation to work out a separation agreement, but you have misgivings about it. If this describes you, this article was written to address your concerns...
Would I Prefer Mediation for My Divorce? - Mediation is a process where you and your spouse will sit down with a neutral person who will help you, sometimes with and most often without attorneys present, to negotiate the terms of your divorce...
When You Do Not Want A War - Too often in divorces, we attorneys see clients who would agree to whatever possession schedule was truly best for their children or would agree to whatever division of assets was fair, but they cannot agree on what that possession schedule or division of assets is...
Litigate or Mediate, That is the Question? - You may be unaware of an alternative, divorce mediation. This is a time-limited, confidential process in which both you and your spouse meet with a neutral third person who helps you decide on the division of parenting responsibilities...
To Mediate or Litigate? You Decide... - There is no denying it: divorce is one of the most stressful experiences people can go through in their lives. Even when the breakup is "amicable," and especially when they have children, divorcing couples experience emotional upheaval and fear of an uncertain future...
Is Mediation Right for You? - One of the most difficult things to do during a divorce is to disregard the urgings of well-meaning friends and family to get the toughest, meanest, lawyer around, and to instead consider mediation. Nearly everyone has something to say about how to achieve a divorce...
This is Divorce Mediation - Divorce hurts. Feelings of anger can simmer for years. The sense of rejection can linger into new relationships. For many people, the greatest agony of divorce can be the loss of self-respect. Faced with unrelenting anger and fear, many divorcing people are dismayed at the ease with which they abandon deeply held values such as respect, compassion, and empathy...
The Self-Destructive Divorce Scenario - We all have heard the horror stories. Perhaps we might have actually lived it. The ballistic separation and divorce. To watch it happen to our friends or families, we can't help but believe that the actions of these people defy our sense of logic or common sense...
Arbitration - Inexpensive, Informal & Decisive - Arbitration is submission of a dispute to one or more impartial persons for a final and binding decision. The parties control the range of issues to be resolved by arbitration, the scope of the relief to be awarded, and many of the procedural aspects of the process...
About Mediation - There is a better way to settle differences than a costly courtroom battle. You can control the decisions that affect your family, your finances, your business and your life through mediation, a voluntary settlement process...
Children & Divorce - The Promise of Mediation - Such is the sort of dialogue children caught in the middle of a divorce frequently hear from one or both of their parents. Too often, children fall victim in our adversarial divorce system...
Arbitration, Mediation, & Psychoanalysis - Arbitration and mediation are allied processes that have expectable similarities, but also distinct differences. Unexpected parallels emerge when both are compared to psychoanalysis...
Choosing a Divorce Mediator - Finding and selecting a mediator can be easier if you follow some simple steps. In the best of circumstances, divorce is an uncomfortable process. Take the time to assure you have a mediator whom you like, respect and believe to be qualified to help both of you negotiate that equitable settlement...
Mediation - A Better Way to Resolve Conflict - What did you do the last time you found yourself in conflict with a co-worker, your neighbor, your spouse or your local businessman or woman? Did you get a knot in your stomach, walk away, fight back, decide it was your fault - or theirs, consider suing, consider moving out or moving away or quitting?...
Defining Mediation - When you are considering separation or divorce there are a lot of decisions to be made. You will have to find answers to the questions of when?, where?, what? and how?. The question of how you will separate is about the process you will use...
The Most Common Asked Questions About Mediation - Why use mediation?There are many reasons; the primary ones are: You can:Save a significant amount of money Reduce anger and bitterness Allow the divorcing couple to make their own decisions. Create a cooperative atmosphere, clarify the issues between spouses, foster clear communication, and keep emotional tension separate from financial decisions. Acquire vital information, including legal, financial, and parenting information. Receive a fair settlement...
The Use of Alternative Dispute Resolution - "Discourage Litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often really a loser - - in fees, expenses and waste of time. As a peacemaker, the lawyer has a superior opportunity at being a good man. There will still be business enough..."
The Basics of Mediation - Mediation is a tested, sensitive, intelligent approach to the resolution of separation, divorce and custody disputes. It offers divorcing couples a more effective and humane alternative to the traditional adversarial process...
The Benefits of Divorce Mediation - I sat on the floor recently at a birthday party for a friend of my three-year-old, chatting with a group of four other morns. When it came to light that all four were divorced single mothers, the conversation quickly turned to the colorful descriptions of the fathers of their respective children...
Mediation & Christianity - Many Christians view marriage and the relationship it signifies as a reflection of the intimate relationship the human being has with God and God's presence through the Holy Spirit...
The Appropriate Divorce Model - Experience and research has helped us identify some of the basic elements of a successful and healthy divorce. The term "successful and healthy" as used here, means completing the divorce process of emotional separation, achieving a new center...
Choice - Divorce Mediation - Divorce cases that lead to unrestrained and extended litigation are undeniably always destructive and disastrous expenditures of family resources. It is easily estimated that discovery alone in the traditional adversarial litigated divorce can cost more than $20.000 in a fairly routine case...
What is Mediation? In our traditional adversarial system, each spouse hires a separate attorney to represent themselves. The lawyers then spend substantial time negotiating with each other and then additional time communicating the outcome of the negotiations to their respective clients...
10 Reasons to Mediate? - When both spouses meet with one Divorce Mediator they can share the cost, which is commonly $800.00 to $5000.00 total. If the spouses were to retain separate attorneys to represent them in the divorce, each would be paying a simple retainer of $1500.00-$4500.00 just to get started...
Conflict Resolution - Conflict occurs when two or more people believe that what each wants is incompatible with what the other wants. Conflict is likely to increase in times of change. It is an important human process which can often lead to constructive and creative results...
Wisconsin Divorce Mediation - In recent years there has been a growing interest in divorce mediation, which is a process for helping divorcing parties reach a settlement agreement in a cooperative manner rather than having them battle it out in court for the judge to decide the issues. Mediation lets the parties keep control of the process and of the terms of the divorce...
FAQs About Divorce Mediation - Mediation is a tested, more sensitive approach to separation and divorce. It is a non-adversarial process helping people to dissolve marriages, or domestic partnerships, once the decision to separate is made. The framework provides partners the opportunity to negotiate mutually beneficial agreements that include property settlement, spousal support, child support and custody...
Divorce - What Went Wrong? - The "D-Word" strikes at the heart of all married couples. Prenuptial agreements - agreements made even before marriage - all have provisions for what happens in the event of a divorce. Recent statistics suggest that 50% of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce. In Southern California the divorce rate is purported to be even higher, somewhere in the neighborhood of 60-75% depending on which study one reads. In this articles I will be exploring some of the reasons that people divorce, some of the consequences of divorce, ways to prevent divorce, and, when all else fails, approaches divorce that can be less stressful to all of the parties involved...
Keeping the Humanity in a Divorce - We've all heard the tragic story from a family member, co-worker or friend -- they got a divorce and in the process, spent an unseemly amount of money for a lot of stress, aggravation and a settlement with which they were not really happy. The damage created by the experience is great; not only were they dealing with the loss of a mate and the loss of a significant amount of money upon which they were counting to rebuild their life, they were also dealing with the loss of their own humanity...
10 Misconceptions About Divorce Mediation - Mediation is the sensible alternative to litigation particularly when people are divorcing. When you think about divorce, you immediately think of lawyers, courts, judges, and litigation, not to mention expense and aggravation. People are not as familiar with mediation and often have erroneous notions about what the process of divorce mediation is all about...
Divorce Mediation - An Alternative - If divorce is the proper alternative for two individuals, they should be spared as much pain as possible. This can be done through the process of divorce mediation, in which one or two mediators help a husband and wife prepare their own separation agreement-- a feat accomplishment without the customary adversary-style anger, rancor and "go for the jugular" mind-set that is customary in contested divorces. There is no "contest" in divorce mediation; both spouses are looking toward the future for better lives for themselves and their children and not dwelling on the past hurts...


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