Spouse #1: "I still love you, but we need a trial separation or I’ll have to divorce you immediately. Meanwhile, you go stay at the YMCA and leave me here in the home with the kids."

Spouse #2: "I love you too. For the sake of our marriage, I’ll do whatever it takes."

Several months later, Spouse #1 serves Spouse #2 with a Petition for Dissolution, seeking sole physical custody of the children and occupancy of the homestead. Spouse #1 argues that for the sake of continuity and stability for the children, he or she should be awarded custody of the children and exclusive occupancy of the homestead.

Dupe signs the papers, and you know what happens next. There are various manifestations of this dirty trick, such as:

This is all too common. Parties agree to move the family to another state. Spouse #1 moves there first to find housing and get situated. Spouse #2 promises to join Spouse #1 at the end of the school year (or some other future time). Then when the appointed time arrives, Spouse #2 instead sues for divorce in the home state, and asks for sole custody of the children and exclusive occupancy of the homestead, for the sake of continuity and stability for the children. Spouse #1 is at a huge disadvantage unless he or she moves back to Minnesota immediately.

I have had some cases where, after it becomes clear that my client is likely going to be awarded sole physical custody of the children, the spouse suddenly wants to reconcile. Now, sometimes this is sincere. One of those cases happened several years ago, and the parties remain happily married to this day. The danger to watch out for is that the reconciliation pitch is just a fraud to enable the other spouse to try again for a better outcome at a later date, with a different judge and custody evaluator. It happens.

This is too rare to worry about, but I’ve seen it. At the time of divorce, the father learns for the first time that one or more of the children he thought were his in fact were sired by his best friend, neighbor, co-worker, or some guy he’s never heard of from the local pub. Sometimes this can cause problems obtaining custody, because if the biological father somehow obtains a paternity order, a major legal obstacle is created. Now the husband-father must either try to obtain custody of only his own biological children - which is unlikely given the strong case law against splitting up siblings - or he must try to get custody of all of the children, including those not his own, which is extra difficult when you’re not the father.

* The information in this article is not advice for your particular case. Also, this information applies only to Minnesota law, and not to the law of any other state or country.