Last week’s column outlined what to do if your "ex" doesn’t return your children at the time identified in your court order. In many cases, these delays are neither intentional nor malicious, but the product of poor time management. However, some ex-mates remain angry long after the divorce, venting their displeasure at every opportunity, and the weekly "hand-off" is an easy venue for making your life miserable.

As pointed out last week, you have a remedy if your "ex" willfully violates the schedule in your court order. Take your case to the police. It is a felony violation of Section 565.156 of the Missouri Revised Statues punishable by up to four years in the pokey.

Involving the police usually solves the problem, if the police will intervene on your behalf. Sometimes, though, they are reluctant to step into what they see as a squabble between private parties, not realizing that their reluctance emboldens the recalcitrant spouse to push the envelope further. Just recently, a mother asked me what she should do about her former spouse who hasn’t returned her children since Christmas....almost four months earlier! She has gone to the police, but they refused to get involved, saying it was a "private matter".

"The police have a legal duty to investigate a crime", says Rob Livergood, Assistant Prosecuting Attorney for St. Louis County, but the police also "have the discretion to decide if a crime has been committed". If the first officer, after reviewing your court-ordered schedule, refuses to get involved, here is how to proceed:

In addition, your lawyer should file a "contempt motion" with the Family Court for failure to comply with the court-ordered schedule. If your "ex" is found to be "in contempt", the penalty is jail time until the children are returned, plus paying your legal fees.

As prosecutor Livergood says, most problems are resolved with the first visit to the police, but it’s nice to know you have options for dealing with an ex-mate that persistently brings your kids back late just to be difficult.