Divorce Negotiation Rule Eight - Never Get Personal

There is a scene in the Godfather movie where a character is about to wiped out by the mob. One of the henchman tells the victim that the Godfather wants him to know that it is not personal, it is just business.

Clearly, much of what is happening in the divorce is personal between the parties. It should never be personal between the attorneys, no matter how sensitive or important the issues.

Many times, this is not a problem. The vast majority of the lawyers I deal with are pleasant and many I consider friends. It is only a very small minority where it really takes an effort to maintain civility.

Nonetheless, there is no point in being hostile. In nearly 20 years of practice, I have never had a confrontational conversation with an attorney who said the following: "Gregg, I am wrong, you are right. Can you forgive me for taking such a silly position?"

A good rule: Never fight a battle when the best you can do is tie. In court, with a judge present, there is at least a chance of winning, In private discussions with the other lawyer, there is absolutely no chance. At best, there will be a standoff.

There are times where, in order to control my temper (my wife will be surprised to learn that I even have a temper), I terminate a conversation. Yet, even an abrupt termination of a conversation is preferable to saying what may be on my mind.

The bottom line is simple: You cannot settle a case if you do not talk to the other side.



Useful Online Tools
  • Negotiating Your Divorce Online - You will be surprised how easy it is to resolve your disputes through our innovative Divorce Negotiation CenterTM. It's FREE. Give it a try.

Separation Agreement Software
Download Product   
   
Separation Agreement Software
It is very difficult to move on with your life without getting the facts in writing, like, who gets what property and who is responsible for what debt, so a separation agreement outlines the rules in a legally binding format. Once you have a signed separation agreement you are on the right path to successfully negotiating your divorce settlement.


Suggested Reading
Fairshare Divorce for Women Fairshare Divorce for Women
Fair Share Divorce for Women is the first book that gives women the support and guidance they need to safeguard their marital assets. Too often women find themselves at a disadvantage when their marriage ends and they have to fight for what is rightfully theirs.

Author: Kathleen Miller, CFP, MBA


Related Article Archives
Client/Attorney Relationship
Collaborative Law
Property & Debt Division
Premarital Agreements
Private Investigation
Mediation
    All Article Archives

Related Categories
Alimony & Spousal Support
Divorce & Pets
Divorce, Dollars & Debt
Divorce Laws
Divorce Process
Lawyer-Client Relationship
Men's & Father's Rights
Women's & Mother's Rights
    All Categories
Related Forums
DIY Divorce
Financial Aspects
Lawyer Issues
Mediation
Men's Rights
Women's Rights
    All Forums

Resources & Tools

Bookstore Promotion Discount

Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.
   
GETTING STARTED -- In most divorces, one spouse wants out and one does not -- at least at the onset. The person who is left may try to stall, sometimes in hope of a reunification, but as the divorce progresses, he or she moves toward the point where both spouses understand the marriage is over.
Start Divorce

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:

 

Online Divorce Negotiation

Online Divorce Negotiation

So you and your spouse have a few issues to iron out before you can agree on your divorce? You are not alone, but you do not have to spend thousands on a lawyer to reach an agreement. With just a little participation and communication, you will be surprised how easy it is to resolve your disputes through our innovative Divorce Negotiation CenterTM. It's FREE. Give it a try.

 

Featured Download Basic Principles of Law for Construing Separation Agreements

Basic Principles of Law for Construing Separation Agreements

Basic Principles of Law for Construing Separation Agreements

Start Reaching Potential Clients Today. Divorce Source for Professionals

Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site
Limited Offer Women's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"The Absolute Best Investment in Your Divorce"

Men's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"Uncover Your Options and Unleash Solutions"