As a divorce mediator in private practice who also provides pro bono services in the New Jersey court system, I have reviewed over two-hundred divorce agreements. I also see couples coming back for post-divorce litigation and mediation. Often, what brings them back are errors, omissions and oversights in their original divorce agreements. So, for the benefit of those currently going through the divorce process, here's my list of top ten mistakes and oversights related to the children.

Without going into details on each of the points, let me address the first point, because this is far and away the biggest problem for the courts. At the time of the divorce, one or both parents state that they don't need a schedule - they can work the schedule out and both parents are free to see the children anytime they want. This doesn't give the children much assurance. Most children need the security of knowing where they are going to be and with whom. Holidays become complete chaos with both parties wanting the children at the same time. Sometimes, the parenting schedule breaks down completely when the first of the parties starts dating. So, do yourself, your ex-spouse and your children a favor. Work out a schedule with clear pickup and drop-off times. Get a copy of the children's school schedule so that you account for all the children's holidays including teachers' conventions, winter and spring break, etc. Once you have a schedule, you can always adjust it to meet each other's needs.

You can learn a lot from other people's experiences and mistakes. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Talk to friends and network with people who have been through the divorce process. Share your situation with them. Listen to what other people have to say, but also try and read between the lines when you hear their stories. Consult with attorneys on legal issues, but also educate yourself on the divorce laws. By paying attention to what's going on in the process instead of burying your head in the sand, you can save yourself money, time and future heartache and headaches.

If you have a story you want to share, a provision in your agreement that helped you, or an omission or mistake that later reared its ugly head, please write to me. I can be reached at 223 Bloomfield Street, Suite 104, Hoboken NJ 07030.