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Children & Divorce - Why Divorce Mediation Offers Hope
Studies indicate that the challenges and losses experienced by children of divorce are more profound and longer lasting than previously thought. Children of divorce tend to be at risk for poor academic performance, health problems, poor sense of personal accountability, and even substance abuse.
Recent studies have suggested even more alarming risks. These risks may not appear until late adolescence or young adulthood. They include:
These problems are long ranging, variable and enduring into adulthood.
What can parents do who are divorcing or already divorced?
One of the best solutions is mediation. Parents who mediated their divorce reduced the conflict experienced by their children. This reduction in the short term (during separation and divorce) was followed by even greater reduction in conflict over the next 12 years. This contrasts strikingly with parents who chose conventional divorce. These conflicts remained high during separation and divorce, and they increased to even higher levels over the 12 years following divorce.
Mediation provides parents an opportunity to discuss parenting decisions at the time of divorce and afterward.
Parents who mediate their disputes provide their children with a model facing conflict and resolving disagreements. Litigated divorce cannot and does not do that. In fact, a long-term study found the children of parents who litigated divorce had difficulty facing conflict even in adulthood, and they were left with a sense of helplessness and anger. With mediation parents can provide their children with problem-solving tools to take them through life.
There is no doubt in my mind that one of the greatest life lessons we can offer our children is how to solve disagreements. Mediation offers parents that opportunity.
New Jersey has five types of spousal support. Rehabilitative alimony is a short-term monetary award that allows a spouse to go back to school or obtain training to re-enter the workforce. Limited duration alimony is awarded in cases of a short marriage when rehabilitative alimony doesn't apply. Reimbursement alimony is awarded when one spouse makes a personal sacrifice so that the other spouse could receive professional or career training. Alimony pendente lite is awarded when a divorce is pending so that both parties can maintain their current standard of living until a final judgment is made. Finally, there is permanent alimony which is usually appropriate in long term marriages and typically terminates upon the death of either party or remarriage.
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"A Plain English Guide to Protecting Your Children"
Author: Mary L. Boland, Attorney at Law
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