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Contemplating Divorce? How Coaching Can Help

The decision to divorce is rarely an easy one. Rather, it’s a decision that is often wrought with emotion and clouded with complicated issues. Sometimes it’s difficult to determine whether divorce is necessary, or if there’s a chance that the problems in the marriage can be worked out. If you’re contemplating divorce but aren’t sure where to begin, sitting down and clearly defining and discussing the issues can make the situation much more manageable. This is where coaching comes into play.

What is Divorce Coaching?

Divorce coaching is a process designed to create significant and sustainable results in your life by allowing you to think more clearly, gain better perspective and focus more effectively, both on your current situation and on your future. If you’re contemplating divorce, a coach can help you to:

  • Identify and clarify the issues at hand
  • Create a plan to address those issues
  • Take action
  • Make wise, informed decisions about the choice to divorce
  • Pre-plan for divorce, if needed
  • And, should you decide to move forward, to make intelligent choices about how to begin the divorce process

It’s important to point out that coaching is not counseling. Where counseling tends to take a look back and help us examine our past, coaching focuses more on the here and now as well as on the future. In other words, we’re not as concerned about the history behind why you are feeling certain emotions or facing particular roadblocks in your life, but rather on identifying exactly what those feelings, emotions or roadblocks are and creating an actionable plan to overcome them and move forward.

The goal of coaching for those contemplating divorce is to provide individuals or couples with the tools they need to make wise decisions, whether that means moving forward with a divorce or staying together and trying to work things out.

How Can it Help?

Contemplating divorce can be one of the most emotional and confusing things in a person’s life. There are so many factors to consider and so many emotions that are tied to the situation. Because of this, it can be difficult to think clearly and make decisions that are based on facts rather than feelings. Coaching can empower someone who feels helpless and overwhelmed to think more clearly, to make informed decisions and to develop an actionable plan that focuses on the future, whatever it may hold.

What Does Divorce Coaching Cover?

For those that are simply contemplating divorce, coaching can help to identify and delve into the most important factors at hand. For instance, if there are children involved, making the decision to divorce can be much more complicated because there are many more issues to deal with such as parenting plans, custody arrangements, child support, and, of course, how the divorce will affect the children. These are all things that can be openly discussed in a coaching session so that each party understands exactly what their decision will mean for their family. After coaching, some couples may decide that divorcing is what’s best for everyone involved, while others may determine that they’re simply not ready. When you identify and explore the important issues, you are much better prepared to make the right choice, and one which you can both be comfortable with.

What’s the Next Step?

Coaching can help you determine whether or not you’re ready to take that next step and proceed with a divorce. Perhaps during our sessions you’ll decide that you really do want to try and work on your marriage or that you’re just not ready to divorce. Or, you may determine that moving forward with a divorce is the best option for your situation. We can work with you to help you prepare for this big step and, should you choose to do so, help you to make the transition into the mediation process.


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New Jersey is an equitable distribution state, meaning that the division of property in a divorce is to be done fairly, not necessarily equally. The court can take into consideration any factor it deems relevant when dividing property, but it must consider certain factors, such as how long the couple was married and the age and health of both spouses, the income or property brought to the marriage by each spouse, the standard of living that was achieved during the marriage, and the extent to which one spouse may have deferred career goals, among others.
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