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Coping with divorce depression can often seem like it is more than one person can tolerate. You may at times feel like a failure and that you are all alone and always will be. For some, the depression that often follows a divorce can completely disrupt a person’s life. It can feel like you are drowning in darkness with no hope to save yourself. You may even have become distant with your family and friends leaving you with no support network.
There may be a wide variety of emotions that you are experiencing right now and you just don’t want to be around others but now is the time where you need to reach out. It will become imperative to ask for assistance while you try to pick yourself up and try to put your life back together. Sometimes you don’t need advice which is fine; you just need someone to listen.
This is also a perfect time to really look at yourself and your life. I’m sure it was never in your plan to become divorced but now you have to find the strength to rebuild. If you were to evaluate the rest of your life, outside the marriage, are you where you had planned to be? Professionally, have you reached goals that you had previously set for yourself?
Maybe you have always been at home and now is the time to branch back out into the workforce or go back to school. If you can find a way to alter how you think about what you are going through, you will be amazed at the results. Attitude really is everything. I know that what you have known for possibly years has come to an end but this is an opportunity to start anew.
Your self-confidence is probably very low but you have to really talk to yourself and tell yourself that you are capable and you have what you need to pick up the pieces and make something of your life. This is just the closing of a door and you now have to find the courage to open new ones. Take this chance to evaluate yourself and really get in touch with what you want from your life. Take the time to set goals, realistic ones and there is no such thing as a goal too small or too big.
If you need to be able to sleep through the night, then set that as a goal. If you need to do more cooking for one then you can also set that as a goal. Your goal does not have to be tangible it can be an emotional one as well. Any step that you can take forward can be set as a goal. Once you realize what you actually want, you will find encouragement to continue the fight.
You are truly a survivor! Possibly you have been left as a single parent and are overwhelmed with the job that has been left to you alone. This is where friends and family come in. Reach out and ask to get a break so that you can recharge your batteries. If you can, make plans to take a night and go out with friends. Try to find enjoyment in every little thing you do.
You can do this! I’m sure that you feel that your situation is unique but many others have made it through divorce and you can be one as well. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time to heal. Always remind yourself of the blessings in your life and try to focus on that. Then set your eyes to the future and be ready to create a life for yourself that is both fulfilling and filled with joy.
New Jersey is an equitable distribution state, meaning that the division of property in a divorce is to be done fairly, not necessarily equally. The court can take into consideration any factor it deems relevant when dividing property, but it must consider certain factors, such as how long the couple was married and the age and health of both spouses, the income or property brought to the marriage by each spouse, the standard of living that was achieved during the marriage, and the extent to which one spouse may have deferred career goals, among others.
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"A Plain English Guide to Protecting Your Children"
Author: Mary L. Boland, Attorney at Law
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