How does divorce mediation work when you don’t even want to be in the same room as your soon-to-be ex-spouse? Mediators have specific skill sets to get people to communicate who can’t stand each other so they can make important life-altering decisions. A mediator can take some of the drama out of the divorce, keep you focused on the issues at hand and allow you to move forward. You may never have to be in the same room again with your ex-spouse, if you so desire. Tolerating a little bit of face-to-face negotiations during mediation can go a long way towards not contending with him/her for the rest of your life. Agreements made during mediation tend to be followed and couples tend to not return to court to amend any agreements. So, deal with him/her now and you won’t have to face him/her down the road again.

Once you have completed mediation and are divorced, there may still be times you will have to communicate with your ex-spouse, especially if you have children. But communicate and actually see and speak to one another are two very different things. With today’s technology, ex-couples have found numerous ways to “talk” without actually speaking to one another. Email or texts have been a godsend for many combative couples. However, conversations via email or text can sometimes be misconstrued and still get contentious. So, think before you type. There are even websites, like Our Family Wizard, which are specifically designed to help divorced families keep information flowing, without having to necessarily speak. A recent New York Times article highlighted the increased use of such websites and positive outcomes it produces. Ex-couples fight less, have no drama in front of the kids, and can stay involved with the kids without having to directly involve each other.

While divorce mediation does require being in the same room with the person you may not want to speak with ever again, it allows you to get decisions made quickly and cost-effectively. This helps your relationship down the road. You can get divorced quickly now and choose to never hear your ex-spouse’s voice again. It can all be done remotely afterwards.