Something about “alimony” strikes a nerve in divorcing couples. In divorce mediation, we often talk about alimony or “spousal support”, as we call it in New Jersey, and in the beginning, the conversations can get heated. Sometimes, one spouse feels that they deserve more money for a longer period while the other wants to pay less money for a shorter time. Fortunately, in divorce mediation, we can almost always come to a resolution, so no one feels cheated.

In New Jersey, there are four types of spousal support: permanent, limited duration, rehabilitative (used to get one partner back on their financial feet) and reimbursement. The amount and terms of alimony are based on several factors including the length of the marriage and the earning capacities of each couple. There is no one set official formula, and the terms can get complicated because the amount of spousal support has tax consequences and also impacts child support obligations.

Moreover, the couple may decide to divide assets and liabilities in a way that takes into account how much spousal support is being paid. So, really, decisions on spousal support can have a big impact on the whole separation agreement.

Luckily, the fact that there is no set formula for spousal support can be used as an advantage. This way, the couple can work together with a mediator to develop an individualized plan that works best for their family. In mediation, they can review their assets and budgets and potential earnings, and create a plan that leaves all the parties feeling like their interests are being considered. In divorce mediation, instead of seeing spousal support as a sticking point, it becomes one part of a larger plan for moving forward.