It is said that Mediation is like a jig saw puzzle – you have a lot of little pieces that don’t look like they will ever fit together. So you go to work on them – one piece at a time, paying very close attention to the little piece in your hand, but always looking at the entire puzzle to be sure it fits in properly.

Litigation, on the other hand, is like a game of chess. You have two warring armies. Each King (Queen?) is backed up by an entire squadron of helpers – and the two sides go to war. It is a game of cat and mouse, it is a competitive game, it is a game with a winner and a loser.

That is probably enough to say about the difference between Mediation and Litigation. (Though I must confess, there are lots of people who love chess and I don’t know anyone who loves litigation.)

While we’re on the subject of comparisons and metaphors, I read recently that one mediator tells his clients that “mediation is like dentistry, in that people go to a dentist to reduce pain or to avoid greater pain. I explain that in mediation sometimes (as with the dentist) they have to experience some discomfort in order to avoid more intense pain.”

When a couple embarks on Mediation, the playing field is automatically leveled. Each side is discouraged from dominating, or grandstanding, or bullying the other. Instead, the goal is reaching agreement. It’s amazing how different and productive it is when the objective is shared, even if everything else is open for discussion and negotiation.