Commitment to the Children During Divorce
The marriage relationship changes to a parent relationship and the obligations change from the spouse to the children, the commitment is focused on the needs of the children, not the needs of the spouse. The bonds change, and it takes courage to accept this. When the commitment focus is no longer on the couple, but on your children, resolutions to problems can be easier. This is not to say you won’t experience some problems at times. You need to grieve and accept the loss of one commitment while you are pursuing the new commitment to co-parent. This takes time, support and forgiveness. Forgiveness only happens between two people when both understand exactly what happened in their marriage and have a mutual desire to form a new relationship based on parenting your children while living apart.
The co-parenting relationship allows trust to rebuild in a new direction. You can make the decision to co-parent despite not having all of your feelings resolved concerning the divorce. In this case however, you should get support for the two separate issues; resolving the end of your marriage and moving forward to change the relationship into a co-parenting relationship. There will be many times throughout this new co-parenting relationship that it will not seem feasible or worth the energy. At other times the results will be gratifying, pleasing and reassuring. This is a message of love that your children will experience. Learning to look and listen for changes that occur becomes part of your commitment as an adult, and it is critical to take responsibility as the adult to preserve the co-parenting bond.
Realizing that some children are experiencing emotional pain in divorce encourages this persistence. Looking ahead and seeing your children as happy adults insures conviction, but most of all, allowing your children to experience the love and devotion from each of their parents is the true gift to them.
Useful Online Tools
Resources & Tools
GOOD COMMUNICATION – For two divorced parents to successfully co-parent, peaceful, consistent, and purposeful communication is essential. The purpose of the communication is the well-being of the child. This begins by setting a business-like tone.
Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Online Parenting Plans
3StepParentingPlanTM uses cutting-edge online software to create your Parenting Plan. Using a smart question-and-answer application, 3StepParentingPlanTM gets you a fully customized Parenting Plan in a little more than half of a lawyerÕs billable hour.
|Your Right to Child Custody, Visitation & Support
Cover Price: $
Your Price: $17.95
You Save: $7.00
"A Plain English Guide to Protecting Your Children"
Author: Mary L. Boland, Attorney at Law
|The information contained on this page is not to be considered legal advice. This website is not a substitute for a lawyer and a lawyer should always be consulted in regards to any legal matters. Divorce Source, Inc. is also not a referral service and does not endorse or recommend any third party individuals, companies, and/or services. Divorce Source, Inc. has made no judgment as to the qualifications, expertise or credentials of any participating professionals. Read our Terms & Conditions.|