Society provides limited reasonable expectations for stepfamilies, says Aronsohn. "Stepparents find themselves learning as they proceed, since there no guides for step parenting. Also there are problematic and potential painful legal issues to consider regarding custody, support and estates because "in the eyes of the law, the statues of parenthood [are] generally restricted to biological and adoptive parents."

These "painful legal issues" support, visitation, adoption, often infiltrate the step relationship and make for difficulties. Stepparents have nowhere near the legal standing of natural parents. The stepfamily exists in a legal netherworld, where stepparents find themselves legal strangers to children they must try to, if not parent, then at least supervise. Mary Ann Mason, Arlene Skolnick and Stephen D. Sugarman, in their book "All Our Families", describe the "poorly formed concept of the role of stepparents" in American life. They write:

"[T]he contrast between the legal status of stepparents and the presumptive rights and obligations of natural parents is remarkable. Child support obligations, custody rights, and inheritance rights exist between children and their natural parents by virtue of a biological tie alone, regardless of the quality of social or emotional bonds between parent and child, and regardless of whether the parents are married. In recent years policy changes have extended the rights and obligations of natural parents, particularly in regard to unwed and divorced parents, but have not advanced with regard to stepparents. Stepparents in most states have no obligation during the marriage to support their stepchildren, nor do they enjoy any right of custody or control. Consistent with this pattern, if the marriage terminates through divorce or death, they usually have no rights to custody or even visitation, however long-standing their relationship with their stepchildren. Conversely, stepparents have no obligation to pay child support following divorce, even if their stepchildren have depended on their income for many years. In turn, stepchildren have no right of inheritance in the event of the stepparent’s death (they are, however, eligible for Social Security benefits in most cases)."

In her review of state law applying to stepparents and stepchildren, in "Still a Patchwork Quilt," Susan L. Pollet says that "[t]he results of our research show that of the states that have statutory language that specifically refer to stepparents, 8 states have statutes regarding their custody rights, 11 states have statutes regarding their visitation rights, 15 states have statutes regarding their child support obligations, and 44 states have statutes regarding their adoption rights. Of the states that have statutory language referring to the rights of third parties, 20 states have statutes regarding their custody rights, 13 states have statutes regarding their visitation rights, 3 states have statutes regarding their child support obligations, and 6 states have statutes regarding their adoption rights. We also researched the inheritance rights of stepchildren and found that 19 states have statutory language regarding their inheritance rights if their stepparent dies intestate.

"Additionally, some of the states that do not have statutory language regarding stepparents have case law pertaining to stepparents. We researched further and noted the following: 5 states have case law regarding their custody rights, 12 states have case law regarding their visitation rights, 19 states have case law regarding their child support obligations, and 2 states have case law regarding inheritance rights. Moreover, of the states that have case law pertaining to third parties, 4 states have case law regarding their custody rights, 3 states have case law regarding their visitation rights and 1 state has case law regarding child support obligations."