While Divorcing Your Child Should Not Be Your Ally

Trying to get your child to be on your side is a common trap that parents tend to fall into. Parents see it as though they are showing more love or attention by doing so, but rather it is often a selfish tactic to gain revenge against the other parent.

We realize that all situations are unique and certainly some parents are capable of out doing themselves when it comes to being arrogant, inconsiderate, disparaging, neglectful, etc., but it is recommended, no matter how bad the situation may be, that every parent refrain from using a child as an ally or teammate against the other parent. If your child is of an age to be on your side, then he or she is old enough to make his or her own decisions. Do not influence or force your child to take your side.

The common mistakes that are made by parents:

  • Asking a child who he or she loves more.
  • Asking a child who he or she would rather live with.
  • Asking a child if he or she agrees with them, instead of the other parent.
  • Asking a child who he or she wants to spend the holiday with.
  • Asking a child to find out things about the other parent.
  • Asking a child to skip visitation time with the other parent.



Useful Online Tools
  • Custody JunctionTM - Easily schedule, track and monitor current and future custody, visitation, and support arrangements.
  • Online Parenting Plans - Our Online Parenting Plan Service will allow you to create and execute your very own personalized parenting plan.
  • Mandatory Parenting Class - This service if for you, whether you are court mandated or if you simply want the best, up to date information about how to keep your kids healthy and safe throughout the divorce process.

Suggested Reading
Creating a Successful Parenting Plan Creating a Successful Parenting Plan
This extraordinary book and computer disk offers separating or divorcing parents a sure-fire way to create a workable, practical parenting plan/agreement that is in the best interest of their children.

Author: Jayne A. Major, Ph.D.


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