After having mediated hundreds of separation and divorce matters over the years, I have found that many spouses have preconceived notions about what divorce mediation is and how it will or will not work for them. For example, I met with a couple just last week who were concerned that because they could not communicate nearly as effectively as they once used to, divorce mediation would not work for them. As wife put it: "We used to be able to agree on everything - now we can't agree on anything and it is causing both of us so much stress. We're stuck and we don't know what to do!"

This is perhaps the biggest myth of divorce mediation that I always hear. However, help is on the way!

It sometimes happens that you and your spouse can come to mediation both feeling tired, exhausted and emotionally spent as a culmination of many years of arguing, fighting and talking past one another. You can get to the point where you feel you can no longer communicate face-to-face and thus become discouraged about mediation. However, I have seen many great things happen in mediation where spouses unite for a common purpose (typically for the preservation of their family) and all of a sudden the floodgates of communication open up.

But even if you can no longer communicate face-to-face outside of the mediation room, as long as you can engage in meaningful and respectful discussion while in the room, that is all that is necessary to have a successful mediation. Spouses in this situation have also used e-mail as another effective way to communicate and negotiate in between their sessions, or have even used Skype or teleconferencing during sessions, when necessary.