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Things to Take into Consideration When Contemplating a Divorce

On the day of your wedding, everything is perfect. You are marrying the person of your dreams and you are taking vows to be together forever.

However, unfortunately over 50% of the time, that wedding day becomes a fantasy. For whatever reason, the marriage falls apart, whether a spouse had an affair, money issues, and disputes over the children or mere incompatibility. Now, each spouse is faced with many decisions about finances, children and most times, survival.

If you are contemplating a divorce, there are a few things you need to consider:

  • Assessing your current financial condition and what you will need after the divorce is final. This includes gathering all financial documents for assets and debts.
  • Consult with an attorney. I know this sounds clich and a bit self-serving on an attorney website, but early consultation with an attorney, even if you are just contemplating a divorce or you believe your spouse wants a divorce. An attorney can discuss all of the different scenarios specific to your situation and how to plan for the different options on what may or may not happen.
  • In high net worth divorces, you may need the assistance of forensic accountants or appraisers for businesses, property or

    Divorce is not “cookie cutter” The law actually just gives guidelines to follow. Every person’s situation is unique and requires unique and creative solutions to the individual situation.

  • Tell your spouse. If your spouse is not aware that you want a divorce, there comes a point where you need to tell him or her.
  • Tell the children. If you have children, there comes a time where you and your spouse need to tell the children that their parents are getting divorced.
  • Financial planning – many assets that you may not believe to be marital are marital if they were acquired during the marriage or if the asset’s value increased during the marriage. You may need to consult with an attorney and/or tax or financial advisor on how best to protect your assets or how to invest assets you may acquire after a divorce.
  • If children are involved, then there are also custody considerations to take place, which should be part of the initial consultation with the attorney.
  • Counseling. A marital break up is like a death, except the other party is still walking around. You still go through the same stages of death with a divorce. Counseling can help you to get through those stages and also helps you make better financial decisions and custody decisions. Needs for counseling can be true for both the party wanting the divorce and the party who does not want the divorce.

This is just a brief overview of things to consider when contemplating a divorce.


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The Pennsylvania court may decide to order both spouses to attend an orientation for mediation or counseling. Mediation may resolve issues outside of court. The court tells the parties what issues need to be addressed in the sessions (for example, child custody, child support or division of property). The court cannot order mediation if there have been any allegations of domestic violence or child abuse within the past two years.
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