Telling your family your marriage isn't working and that you are getting divorced can be?:

1. stressful
2. emotional
3. final
4. life-changing
5. all of the above, PLUS

The answer is, all of the above. PLUS. "The PLUS" is the unexpected education in human nature you will receive when family and friends react to the news.

The children's reactions may not surprise you, because often they sense the end was coming and perhaps felt some relief.

Other family members, may make you feel like the devil. The news of your separation may be treated casually, but the word "d-i-v-o-r-c-e!"may changed their outlook.

What may matter most to your family may not be that you are getting divorced, but that the family will be embarrassed by a divorce. Sometimes, families drift apart during this time and a select group of friends take their place. Identify your adult family and find out who you can count on.

Knowing who is true to you will make the coping bearable. More likely than anyone else, the people with whom you will grow old are those with goals, morals, and beliefs like yours. This is the true lesson in human nature.

Those friends you can trust on a sinking ship are special and few. You have to identify them and stay close. You know who they are. You feel it. You sense it.

A supportive person and friend is one who looks at every situation as a potential opportunity. If he or she believes that when one door closes, another one opens, give him or her a call. If there's a person you know who is always ready to give without keeping score, you can count on him or her. If he or she is a friend through thick and thin, then you are blessed with a supportive friend. This person may be a sibling or relative, a very old friend or a newer one. You will live and smile again, and launch a thousand new dreams.

Know what challenges lie ahead. With this knowledge, you can cope. Without it, you will fear what you don't know. Your grief will be greater, and you will be easily shocked on your journey through divorce and recovery.