Surviving the Divorce Process

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Surviving Divorce

If you reach or have reached the point where divorce is imminent, you will need to look at practical issues. You need to push aside your emotions and address the legal issues of divorce. The way you handle this might have a ripple effect on the rest of your life. Here is how to make it a ripple and not a tidal wave.

What you need to know:

Letting Them Know You're Getting Divorced: Knowing who is true to you will make the coping bearable. More likely than anyone else, the people with whom you will grow old are those with goals, morals, and beliefs like yours.
Filing for Divorce: You are about to undo the most serious relationship of your life. Do it with the help of a qualified and reputable person.
Fighting and Using the Children as Pawns: Time out! Children are not pieces on a chess board. They are not to be played as pawns.
Finances - How to Pay the Piper: Divorce is wrought with fears, and one of the greatest dreads is "How will I deal with finances?" No doubt, the dollar and cent scenario is high on your list of worries.
Helpful Ways to Save Money: Throughout the divorce process you will need every penny you can get.
Tips About the Moving Process: If you ask friends or relatives to help you move, be sure to have everything ready.
Tips About Renting an Apartment: Before looking at apartments or houses, evaluate your living needs: number of rooms, location, distance from shopping and public transportation, price and facilities.
Divorce Support Groups: The first meetings with your support group can be emotional. You will share stories and tears with people who had been married anywhere from a year to over 30 years.
Coping Skills: Developing your self-esteem is an important step in living through separation and divorce. You should focus on your personal strengths and not be distracted by situations that decrease your confidence.
New Relationships: How difficult and ugly was your divorce? This may determine how you're feeling right now. Do you have that trampled feeling? Did your spouse leave you for the proverbial younger man or woman.

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ONE DAY AT A TIME -- There is no single right way to survive a divorce; there is no universal right way to start over. A person does it by doing it. Anything within reason that gets a person through the day is perfectly acceptable, but even with help such as counseling and support groups, the emotional part of divorce survival is a self-help project.

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