Amicable Divorce Facts and Tips
Amicable Means Civil

An amicable divorce means a civil divorce, where both spouses agree to the terms and conditions of property division, spousal and child support, visitation and custody. It does not mean that the former spouses are friends when it's over. It does mean the spouses don't fight over anything and enter an agreed judgment peacefully.

Uncontested Divorce

An amicable divorce almost always means an uncontested divorce. Negotiations go more smoothly when both spouses agree the marriage is over.

The Divorce Treaty

Negotiating an amicable divorce requires the skills of a diplomat negotiating a treaty. Just as punitive treaties pave the way for the next war, punitive divorces make for anger and bitterness that makes divorced parenting impossible. The desire for revenge invites bad decisions that lead to a long, expensive, and drawn out divorce. In an amicable divorce, the spouses separate their emotions from the diplomacy involved in a fair and reasonable settlement.

Choose a Lawyer with Care

One way to turn a divorce into trench warfare is to hire a go-for-the-throat attack dog lawyer whose scorched earth strategy makes a wasteland of negotiations. The attack dog one spouse hires only invites an equally aggressive response from the other spouse. The shooting starts; the lawyers become rich; the spouses go bankrupt emotionally, financially and emotionally. The lawyer who wants to go to court (as opposed to negotiate) may be engineering the divorce to maximize his or her fee.

Be Collaborative

An amicable divorce happens when both spouses collaborate; that is, they both work to a settlement without going to court. Each spouse cooperates with the other, and each communicates with the other. Both exchange necessary documents without costly discovery. Each spouse strives for the common ground to build upon. When differences arise, all efforts focus on negotiation; when consensus happens, both work to fill out the plan in greater detail.

There Are No Winners in Divorce

One veteran Pennsylvania family law practitioner says that a fair settlement is one where neither spouse is happy but both can live with the outcome. Spouses who can accept this can negotiate an amicable divorce.

Divorce is Not Painless

An amicable divorce is not a painless divorce; all divorces entail pain and suffering. Nor is it a breakup where one spouse plays dead just to keep things "friendly." In fact, an amicable divorce is not necessary friendly, but it is civil. An amicable divorce means negotiating rather than litigating. The rewards of this include fewer court visits, less pain and trauma on children, reduced costs and a quicker divorce. The purpose of a divorce is to end a marriage so that the past conflicts end and the former spouses get on with life.

Pro Se Divorce

When both spouses agree on the terms and conditions of the divorce the division of the marital estate, spousal support, child support, custody and visitation they are well placed to file pro se. Pro se filing often means that one spouse files and the other accepts, but the result is an amicable end of the marriage. Pro se divorce cuts the cost of a divorce dramatically and the necessary agreement means a clear and neater end.

Mediation

Many jurisdictions now require divorcing couples to avail themselves of a mediator, a neutral third party, who helps the spouses find their way to agreement on one or more issues. Mediation can be enormously helpful when couples want to resolve issues amicably and thus avoid a court battle. This requirement can be waived if both parties agree.

Collaboration

In collaborative divorce, both spouses retain lawyers, but the lawyers for both work as negotiators, and negotiation is handled outside of court. When a divorce goes to court, the judge makes the decisions. When spouses collaborate, the couple comes to agreements without a judge. The lawyers assist by facilitating good communication and advising their clients of the law. A measure of collaboration is required in any amicable divorce, and makes amicable divorces easier. Collaborative divorce helps couples save time and money, and the divorcing couple retains control during the divorce.


Useful Online Tools
  • Divorce Online - With this online software you will complete and instantly print your divorce forms and step-by-step filing procedures to file your own divorce in a timely, professional, and hassle free fashion.
  • Online Separation Agreements - When you and your spouse agree about how to resolve your issues, 3StepAgreementTM puts you in charge and gets everything in writing.
  • Divorce Negotiation Online - You will be surprised how easy it is to resolve your disputes through our innovative Divorce Negotiation CenterTM. It's FREE. Give it a try.

Suggested Reading
How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)
How to Divorce as Friends. As Featured On Oprah! You can divorce as friends! No matter how painful or destructive your relationship is today, you have the ability to turn your situation around. You can end the conflict and restore the love, one human being to another. Sound impossible? Well itŐs not! It can happen for you.

Author: Bill Ferguson


Related Article Archives
Court Procedures
Premarital Agreements
    All Article Archives

Related Categories
Contemplating Divorce
Divorce Laws
Divorce Myths
Divorce Process
    All Categories
Related Forums
DIY Divorce
    All Forums

Resources & Tools

Bookstore Promotion Discount

Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.
   
INNOCENT SPOUSE RULE -- Section 434(c)(1) of the Internal Revenue Code protects an innocent spouse from tax fraud prosecution under certain conditions. This rule mainly protects women who innocently sign returns while married to men who controlled the finances. An innocent spouse can be protected from liability if 1) a joint return was filed, 2) the return contains a "grossly erroneous" error, 3) he or she establishes "lack of knowledge," and 4) it is "inequitable" to impose the tax on him or her.
Start Divorce

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:

 

DIY Online Divorce

Divorce Online

3StepDivorceTM is an easy, affordable online divorce solution that helps you prepare all your divorce paperwork in less than one hour.

 

Featured Book How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)

How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)

How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)

 

Featured Download DOWNLOADTITLE

DOWNLOADTITLE

DOWNLOADTITLE

View DIY Divorce Resources in Our Online Bookstore

Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site
Limited Offer Women's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"The Absolute Best Investment in Your Divorce"

Men's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"Uncover Your Options and Unleash Solutions"