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Mediation and Children
Divorce is painful but it doesn't have to be a disaster. Most parents facing divorce feel anger, sadness, confusion, and fear. Parents want to protect their children from marital conflict and they worry about how their divorce will effect their children. Parents can get valuable help from a professional mediator.
Mediation is a positive way for parents to work together on behalf of their children. As parents divorce, they must make decisions about their children's new living arrangements. In mediation, parents work together to create a new, viable co-parenting team. A professional mediator acts as a neutral, supportive problem-solver. Trained mediators walk divorcing parents through the decisions that need to be made at the time of separation, for example, how do we tell our children about the divorce; they work with parents as they decide how to create two homes were the children will be comfortable; and they help parents create a placement plan that meets the needs of the children and the parents. Mediators also help parents gather financial information and make a sound financial plan for the future.
Mediators help parents keep parenting so children can continue to be children. Divorce does not end parenting or destroy families. You will be parents for the rest of your lives. A mediator will offer suggestions and support as you transform your parenting relationship into a functioning co-parenting team.
Mediators help parents find ways to be good co-parents after they divorce. Children count on co-parents to attend weddings, funerals, graduations, and other important life events forever. Co-parents need to find ways to make family events comfortable and civil.
Mediators help parents understand what it means to be a good co-parent. Mediators would recommend the following as ways to effectively co-parent:
A mediator will help you work out the terms of a financial settlement that will meet your children's needs. The goal should be to make your divorce a future focused problem-solving process not a court battle. In order for your children to thrive, they need to know that both parents are okay financially.
A mediator will remind you that arrangements you make for placement of your children now, will likely need to be revisited in the future. As children grow, their needs change. It is typical for families to return to mediation after the divorce to rework placement plans to meet the changing needs of their children.
Legal note: Wisconsin law uses the label "placement" for the time children spend with parents. Both parents have periods of placement with their children. What most of us would call the schedule, Wisconsin law calls the placement plan.
In order to file for divorce in Wisconsin, one of the spouses must have been a resident of the state for six months, and in one county for 30 days, before filing for divorce in that county.
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"A Plain English Guide to Protecting Your Children"
Author: Mary L. Boland, Attorney at Law
|The information contained on this page is not to be considered legal advice. This website is not a substitute for a lawyer and a lawyer should always be consulted in regards to any legal matters. Divorce Source, Inc. is also not a referral service and does not endorse or recommend any third party individuals, companies, and/or services. Divorce Source, Inc. has made no judgment as to the qualifications, expertise or credentials of any participating professionals. Read our Terms & Conditions.|