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1. Hire the right lawyer, with the right experience, knowledge and training. We have found--during our 35 years in the field---that hiring the correct lawyer is the most important action that you can take. Without the right lawyer nothing seems to work out as well--no matter how much work you put into your case.
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2. Get recommendations for the right lawyer. (from your family lawyer, friends, bar association?)
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3. Make a list of the other person's weaknesses. The other person is usually your spouse or former spouse, but may be grandparents, foster parents, siblings, or even the State.
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4. Make a list of the other person's strengths. This is really important, it is too easy to concentrate on the other person's weaknesses and what they do wrong--here we want you to list what they do right.
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5. Make a list of your strengths.
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6. Make a list of your weaknesses. Be brutally honest. Only you and your lawyer will see the list.
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7. List the strengths in your present position from the view of the judge: job, economics, help from parents, etc.
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8. List the strengths of the other person in his or her present position.
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9. Decide if you should be the first to initiate the suit.
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10. Decide if you should try to settle the case.
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11. Write out a Draft Custody Plan. List everything that you want as if you will be able to get everything that you want--you won't get everything but making this list is a good start.
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12. Make a list of the negotiable points in your Draft Custody Plan.
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13. Decide if you should start negotiating with the other person.
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14. Make a list of your bargaining chips.
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15. Decide if you should work out a temporary custody plan with the other person.
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16. Find out what criteria your family court looks at when awarding custody.
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17. Find out if your judge has specific prejudices. (Blond hair, women or men, successful women, athletic looking men, etc.)
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18. Find out if the other person is using alienating strategies.
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19. If the other person is using alienating strategies, put into effect a plan to counteract these strategies.
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20.Decide if the other person may make false allegations in court. What would they be?
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21. Decide how to refute any false allegations.
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22. Make a list of witnesses that you have to refute potential allegations.
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23. Write down, for each witness, how they should dress and act in court.
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24. Decide how you should act in court.
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25. Choose the clothes you will wear in court.
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26. Decide if this is the right time to start dating.
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27. Decide if this is the right time to move in with your new significant other.
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28. Make a list of the marital assets.
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29. Include in the list when each asset came into the marriage.
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30. Include how each asset came into the marriage.
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31. Calculate how much insurance is in-force that would go to you and your child.
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32. Calculate how much insurance you and your child actually need.
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33. Medical coverage?
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34. Write down the education plans for your child and yourself.
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35. Make a list of your future potential earnings.
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36. Think about what could happen to increase or decrease your future earnings potential.
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37. Make a list of the other person's estimated future income.
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38. Write down any special earnings potential of the other person.
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39. Decide if your child is being bribed.
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40. If yes, decide on a course of action to counteract these bribes.
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41. Make a list by subject of the important things you have not told your lawyer. You don't want any surprises in court. List arrests, bankruptcy, affairs, fights--everything!
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42. Consider if there is a sickness or disability to be considered.
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43. Make a list of any of the ways that you can help control legal costs.
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44. Decide what to do if the other person wants to relocate.
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45. Decide if you may want to relocate, now or later.
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46. Decide if you need a Custody Evaluation to help your case.
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47. Hire the right evaluator? Get recommendations from your lawyer, friends, etc.
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48. Decide if the other person is trying to "get your goat."
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49. Consider how it would help the other person if you did get angry.
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