Children & Divorce: The Different Age Stages: 11/18 Years (Early-Late Adolescence):
Identity of Self/Increasing Interaction With Peers
Early Adolescence:
At this stage, children are becoming more abstract thinkers. They are beginning to develop and discover their own identities. Children are now starting to move away from the security of the home. It's not so much a time of rebellion, but a time of exploration. The focus of their lives, no longer on the home and parents, it is now on peers. The adolescent is very aware of what is going on in his or her parent's lives. Not only are they aware of what surrounds them, but they also are very critical about the situation. Most of the time they will not accept divorce as an answer.
Later Adolescence: At this time the adolescent is ready to be launched out into the environment where they will gain total independence. Peers and school become more important than family. However, a separation between parents would emotionally hurt the adolescent. Before they leave for college, much of the time they spend at home is time they wish to spend alone. The later adolescent's thinking skills are becoming more finely tuned as they are slowly becoming adult abstract thinkers. Parents should still be there to provide their children with guidance, even though they may not always want it.
Possible Reactions:
Feels anger and hatred
May try to take advantage of both parents
Behavior is very unpredictable
Feels alone
Tries to push the blame on one parent
Feels more mature than others
Financial worries
Remedy Ideas for Parents:
Keep up as much communication as possible
Share as many experiences as possible
Keep an eye out for the child's actions with school, etc.
Do not involve the child in parental disputes
Consider family counseling
Watch you actions regarding new relationships
Have household rules and maintain them
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