Children & Divorce: Introduction:
The games that are played between parents during and after the divorce can become part of the past, but for the children harm to self esteem and self identity can be evident for quite some time. Parents need to be a part of their children's lives. Divorce affects children in their school environment, their peer environment, and their family structure. The family structure takes on a new definition, differing greatly from the traditional. Many divorces are highly emotional and can draw children into conflict, which weighs greatly on how the family functions as a unit. It is also apparent that children feel they are to blame for the separation. Children will go to great lengths in order to gain back their normal family lifestyles.
When people get divorced the separation between parent and child is inevitable. How children react to this is probably one of the most important facets with which a parent is responsible. It is not obvious on a day to day basis. It is, however, visible throughout a lifetime so, it is important for parents to keep close watch on how their children cope and adjust to the divorce.
Children will question their feelings. It is critical that the child is able to talk to both parents openly. Trust is a key ingredient in establishing a healthy and emotionally sound child. This is truly what co-parenting is all about. Despite the fact that the change in the marriage has occurred, the responsibilities of the parent has basically gone unchanged. The bond between two people as marriage partners has been broken, but the bond between the two as being parents has not been broken. It is still the responsibility of both spouses to be parents.
Any adult who is the product of a divorced family understands what divorce can do to a child. If the separation occurs when the child is quite young, the memories may be forgotten within a given amount of time. If the child has reached adolescence, more details of the separation will be remembered. If parents work together, children can develop healthy, emotional attitudes.
Co-parenting does not work for all families, but it does reduce the anxiety that the child is experiencing. No matter how harsh the relationship between ex-spouses, if the two parties work together, the relationship with their children will be a sucessful one.
The purpose for this section is not to tell you what to legally do with your children. The purpose is to encourage separated parents to develop a workable parenting plan, a plan that is best suited for both the parents, and a plan that is best for the development of a healthy child.
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