Children & Divorce: The Children's Perspective on Divorce:
Sometimes it can be beneficial to look at things through "the eyes of a child." This helps to give the parent some perspective on how the child is interpreting or absorbing the change.
Young children do feel the changes that are going on in their environment. They are aware of the changes that are taking place between their parents and how they react to each other. They also see how these changes are affecting their own lifestyle. They are disturbed by not being able to be with both parents on a daily basis. They often are dissatisfied with shared custody or visitation schedules and are insecure in their environment.
Here are a few common things that children may say:
"No one could make all of this go away."
"Why doesn't my mommy want to be here with all of us?"
"I don't understand why I go to my daddy's on the weekends."
"I can't remember ever seeing my parents together. "
"I remember always feeling as though it was all my fault, and I would cry myself to sleep a lot."
"'I think they still hate each other. "
"My parents have always been fair with me. Even though they were divorced, they were both always there for me. I love them for that. "
"I have grown up to be a very secure person. Both of my parents have always been there for me, and they both make time to talk to me together if that is what I need. "
Children are honest about what they see and experience, and they are able to describe how they perceive what is going on around them. Initially, children do wish that their parents were still together, but as time goes by, they will accept divorce as the right decision. They recognize that they are happier and healthier in a tension free environment.
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Divorce Tip: #74 Adjusting to life after divorce is no easy task. Especially for children!
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