Children & Divorce: Guidelines for Parents & The Rights of Children:
Parents
When looking at divorce and how it affects children, one must
consider that the parent's coping skills and the child's coping skills are very
different. Adolescence is a time for someone to grow as a person: it is not a time to be unhappy. Throughout the divorce and the time following it, the parent must be aware that it
is a must to be nurturing and loving. It is a time when the child needs both parents. A child's self-esteem does not have to be diminished by divorce, but can actually be
strengthened. However, it will take hard work by both parents to build that healthy enviroment.
Guidelines
1. Give your children some time to adjust to the new lifestyle they will be encountering. Children more than the parents need some time to cope with the changes that are taking place as a result of the divorce.
2. It is important that children know that they are not the reason for the divorce. Many children, usually the younger ones, feel that they have done something to cause the separation.
3. It is important that you recognize that your ex-spouse is a parent also. Divorce does not minimize parental responsibilty.
4. Parents shouldn't force children to take sides, or to be put in the middle of something over which they have no control.
5. It is good that the children follow a routine in a stable environment where they can feel secure and loved.
The Rights of the Children
1. Children have the right to spend time with each parent. They need both parents in order to develop emotionally.
2. Children should not be forced to take sides with either parent.
3. Children deserve to know from both parents that they will follow through with child care plans. Commitments to the children should be honored.
4. Children should be able to spend time with each parent. They need both parents in their life, and they need to know that both parents are there for them.
5. If possible, children should be entitled to their own personal sleeping area at each parent's
home.
6. Children need to know their parents are available for open and honest conversation.
Children need to discuss certain issues when they are growing up, and this will continually
occur as they mature and interact with peers.
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Divorce Tip: # 38 Almost all states have a grace period after filing for divorce, before you can actually receive the final decree.
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