How to Divorce as Friends
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The Friendly Divorce: Example: Mary's relationship with Bob had become so painful that she filed for divorce. She wanted to get as far away from Bob as possible. Then she saw that under all of her anger and frustration, she still loved him. She didn't notice this before because loving Bob didn't make any sense. How could she love someone and want to leave him? This made no sense, but when she looked, she saw that the love was there. She loved Bob even though she felt angry and wanted out of the relationship. Once Mary saw her love for Bob, she realized that Bob probably had the same love for her. The moment she saw this, she started feeling her hurt. She felt the hurt of losing her relationship and her dreams for how her relationship could have been. She cried and cried. Then, after she finished crying, she felt a wonderful freedom. Most of her hurt and invalidation had disappeared. Her next concern centered on how to interact with Bob. She wanted to express her love for him, but she was afraid he would take it the wrong way. She didn't want to give him any false hope. Finally, she decided to take a chance. She told him that she loved him. She loved him, even though she wanted a divorce. At first, this was hard for Bob to understand, but Mary continued to express her love. Eventually, Bob understood. He then let go of his defensiveness and began to express his love in return. Mary and Bob still got a divorce, but their relationship became an expression of their love and support for each other. Today they are best friends. Return to The Friendly Divorce Informational Section
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