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How to Divorce as Friends:Robert had a fear of losing his wife, Jan. To make sure she didn't leave, he hung on to her. This hanging on then pushed her further and further away.
Robert was afraid of losing Jan because if she left him, this would reactivate all his hurt of feeling not worth loving. To avoid this hurt, he hung on.
Once he realized this, and once he became willing to feel his hurt, the loss of Jan ceased to be a threat. He no longer needed to hang on and was able to let her go.
The moment Robert let Jan go, he changed the way he related to her. Instantly, he started appreciating her. Once he knew that she could leave at any time, every second he had with her became a joy.
Instead of needing her, he started treasuring her. Jan then felt so loved and so able to be herself around Robert, she didn't want to go anywhere.
This is what happens in life. The more you are able to let go and flow with life, the more life takes care of itself.
You may not always get what you want but you can always be free inside. You can restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness.
The key to being able to flow with life is to heal your hurt.
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