| AloneInTheDark |
| (member) |
| 09/29/09 08:05 AM |
Re: Abuse and control doesn't seem to be over
|
[quote]I would recommend finding a good counselor. And then cutting yourself a huge amount of slack. Its only been two months for you. My divorce was over almost 3 years ago. It still gets into my head from time to time. I remarried and for almost a year I would wake up in a panic over my ex. He was the bad guy in all my dreams. I also would go around the house apologizing for everything. I forgot to take out the trash- Im sorry etc until my husband finally convinced me that everything is not my fault. I still catch myself tho. Enjoy the freedom you gave yourself and when its gets too much go do something that really makes you happy. [/quote]
I wont say I was abused but I will say that it has been good the last 5 weeks since the wife left (too bad she took the kids too though) not being made to feel bad all the time. Things like you never help clean the house (but she spent all day on the computer except for maybe 1 to 2 hours of actually doing stuff for the kids while I was at work) and wondering what I will say or do that she would take wrong and yell at me and make me feel bad. Not seeing her acting single with her male friends on the computer and having her act like its fine and I was wrong for thinking married people should act married. Wondering if I should be fixing every meal when I was home instead of about 60 percent just to make sure she didnt burn the kids food because she was too busy talking/playing a game with her internet boyfriends to watch the food cook. Just not feeling like everthhing I did was wrong 90 percent of the time like in the last 9 months to a year before she actually left. Of course now she uses the kids to try and make me feel bad but what she doesnt understand is at this point, the only thing that really makes me feel bad is that she has them and controls my access to them and its up to her whim if I can talk to them or not when I call every night to tell them I love, miss them, and wish they were with me.