| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 11/05/10 03:21 PM |
Re: husband lazy/drug user/chose not to work--do I pay
|
"You seem like a smart guy. But maybe not so smart emotionally."
Because I have been raked over the coals twice by females? Well, can you really blame a person who has been mugged twice for being apprehensive, or downright aggressive when approached on the street?
"Simply, those who have a need to express their personal bitterness on complete strangers, male or female, are clearly still victims."
Yes, they are victims. Are you in the habit of blaming a victim for behavior caused by their victimization? I really don't think you are.
"The car analogy, yes that sucks, but what would suck more is if others in the same position, relished in seeing other folks also suffer."
I do not think they are relishing in your suffering (well, maybe yrgna, but he is kinda odd anyway, LOL), more they see the fact that YOU are in this situation along with a growing number of women, and they see that as a path to change. And I would think someone as obviously intelligent as yourself would be able to see that in the past, when women RARELY if ever paid alimony, very few women were AGAINST alimony. With the growing number of higher earning women, more women are coming out against alimony, and thus the law will hopefully change for our sons and grandsons.
"I am apparently further along in handling this nightmare, at this relatively early phase in my divorce (11 mos), than others, who cannot get past their anger."
Well, to be honest, you do seem quite angry, and you haven't even written a check yet. Keep in mind, monay of these guys have not only written a NUMBER of checks, but have a number more to write in the future. It is difficult to get past something when you are reminded each month that it exists. Also, especially in difficult financial times, it is VERY difficult to get alimony reduced, so they could be paying alimony based on wages they no longer earn. And THAT is the problem, people who recieve alimony share only in the SUCCESS of the payor. If the payor suffers a loss, they must absorb it ALL.
"I do not waste time complaining about my situation"
Well, perhas you should re-read your first post, because it DOES sound like you are complaining about your situation.