| Java_Queen_Barb |
| (recently joined) |
| 06/09/04 09:09 PM |
Re: SD and her Mom...how do we prepare her?
|
Spring,
I feel for your SD. My bio mom and I had the same realtionship as your SD and her mom. I can't tell you how much I had to deal with as a child and an adult growing up. I went from hating her to feeling sorry for her to blaming her for everything that went wrong in my life.Finally, I just learned to "accept" her for her. It is hard, not understanding how the women who gave birth to you could forget YOUR birthday.My bio mom never called, sent cards or ANYTHING when it came to my birthday,muchless an other holiday. One year I called her and told her "you would think that you would of atleast remeberd the labor pains". I was hurt and angry. I call it the "abuse child syndrom",the more a parent pushes a child away the more a child wonders what they can do to *make the parent love them.Honestly, now as I look back, I can say my one and ONLY saving grace was my SM. She was the one that was there when my children were born, she is the one that didn't have to love me but decided to love me.You have a long walk ahead of you girlfriend, as does your SD.BUT as long as she has YOU she will be one very lucky little girl! The best you can do IMHO is not make up excuses for the BM,but be there to pick up the broken heart of that little girl.The biggest struggle your sd will have is learning to accept her BM for what she is.Nothing more nothing less. Good luck! And a billion hugs to you both!
*What is Cake without coffee?*