| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 05/01/07 05:50 AM |
But, in all honesty...
|
...who does it harm? The kids? Nope, they know who their "Dad" is, and love him just the same. It is a perceived intrusion into something he has determined to be "his" (the title of "Dad"), and the ONLY outcome of even MENTIONING it harms the children, as it gives the ex a big pile of ammunition.
I will add that from the beginning of my divorce, I have accepted that my ex would someday get married, and the kids would have my blessing to call her new spouse ANYTHING they want. I did, however, in the beginning, state that they would HAVE to be married. I have since, a few years ago, decided that a piece of paper between my ex and her new spouse would have no affect on how the kids feel about a certain guy, so why should it have an affect on what they called him? It is all about the comfort zone for the kids, and if they are comfortable with calling him Dad, great. It only means that they have found someone they feel comfortable with, and who treats them decent enough that they associate him with their Dad (me).
Think of it this way. When we have a child, we sometimes name that child after someone in our family. Usually someone we respect, and the naming is done as a means of honoring them. Wouldn't it be an honor know that the honor a child could place upon someone, as a form of acceptance, is to call them the same as someone they love and cherish, their father or their mother?