Tweeby
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 12:50 PM
Re: stbx wife wants 3rd party communication

A CO actually protects both parties. They are still in the court process so it would be best to have the court change the CO time. Many times a temp CO becomes the final CO. Why not reflect what is wanted to protect both sides.

Not following the CO at thing stage of process could harm one or both. If he doesn't get the kids at the CO time because of their 'agreement' the BM could say that he forfitted the time or if he kept the kids she could say that he violated the CO by keeping them longer. It can get confusing.

Most poeple would agree to follow the CO at the beginning as time goes on it can be tweeked to fit both parties and the kids. usually (not always) as time goes one the hurt feelings are not in the forfront and the parents are able to communicate better.

My husband's CO stated that who ever is receiving the child does the pick-up and the party can't leave their car and the other party can't leave their home during the exchanges. The BM was known for causing problems at the exchanges. At the beginning my husband would remind the BM if she came near our car. After a while we pretty much ignored that stipulation in the CO and the BM would come into our home for coffee during the exchanges. We even had holidays together. At the beginning of the process the BM made threats towards me so if someone told me that I would invite the BM and her family into my home I would of told them they were nuts.

After a while I would imagine that many people don't follow the CO to the letter any longer and are able to co-parent to some degree. At the beginning when the emotions DO run high you follow the CO to the letter, it is for the protection of everyone.

It would seem a 'simple' request to have an overnight on Wednesdays. If your doing a week to week 50/50, wouldn't that be too many back and forths overnights for the kids? There are other schedules besides week to week.



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